Carrie Broadshoulders

So unbecoming

2010-02-19T19:52:00.002Z

Jake...you can't just walk in here and start taking your clothes off and think that I'm going to just take you back...

Oh, who am I kidding...of course I will...

Well...

2009-11-29T21:30:00.002Z

I guess she found out about us...

RIP Estelle Getty

2008-07-22T21:47:00.005Z

Today is a very sad day for any gay man alive in the 80s. Estelle Getty has left us after a long illness.

Sophia Petrillo is and will always be one of the most hilarious characters created for a television sitcom and no one could have done it better than Estelle.

We will miss you Estelle!

Alive

2008-07-16T03:08:00.004Z

Oh yes, I'm still alive. I know it has been a ridiculous amount of time since I last posted here. The last year or so has been fairly hectic for Carrie and so I'll try to sum it up briefly here:

*Carrie decided that it was time to follow a dream. A year ago, she set out to see if she could get into law school. And she did. What she did not realize was that it would be in another city. So in about a month, Carrie will be leaving DC and heading to Beantown for law school. GO RED SOX! or whatever. This also means Carrie has resigned from her current job, which I have to tell you, was probably the most incredibly exciting part of this whole venture. While I still have a few weeks of work left, I assure you they will not be the most productive weeks of my career.

*Carrie turned 30. Yes, I realize the header here says the musings of a twenty-something gay guy, but unfortunately I did not create the header and have absolutely no idea how to fix it. Besides, I have not really accepted that I'm a thirty-something gay guy...so I guess it works out.

*The new SATC movie came out. It was good. I looked fabulous. That's all that needs to be said.

*Ummmm, yeah sadly that is about all that has been going on. I'm still single, though lately it has been much more by choice than natural selection since I know I am leaving and have not even made any effort to change the relationship status on my Facebook page. I think I've made my way through the DC talent...let's hope that Boston has something to offer.

I hope you are all well! I may try to keep this up, but chances are come September, I won't have much time. Just know I'm still alive and looking fabulous as always!

CB

The Charade Continues...

2008-07-15T17:49:00.002Z

I know I had told him it was over, that if he insisted on keeping up this charade with that tramp, then I could not longer allow myself to be strung along. But I keep forgiving and letting him back into my life.

Here is our most recent text conversation:

Jakey: Baby, why don't you talk to me? You know I love you.

CB: I love you too, but I cannot go on like this.

Jakey: I have told you time and again that this is for publicity. It means nothing.

CB: Does SHE know that? Because she seems to be staking quite the claim on you!

Jakey: Baby, if you can't fix it, you gotta stand it.

CB: I know, oh, wait...that is from Brokeback Mountain! Don't try using lines on me! You tell me you love me, you fly me to see you in secret. I have to pretend it is over between us and it's killing me. I wish I knew how to quit you.

Jakey: I love you baby, just remember that.

RIP Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T01:57:00.001Z

Sad beyond words...

F U Chris Matthews

2008-01-09T23:20:00.000Z

Chris Matthews used to be one of my favorite political pundits, but I cannot stand him any more. For some reason he has a real bug up his ass about Hillary Clinton's candidacy and will not let up on her. He had this to say after her amazing win last night in New Hampshire:

Are you for real? Is anyone here from New York? Did you vote for her? Is THAT why you voted for her? If I was a New Yorker, I'd tell him to sit and spin. Go ahead Chris, keep beating up on her. We saw what happened when the media thought they smelled blood in the water and went after her after Iowa. I can only hope you keep this up.

Oh and in case you weren't sure, Carrie B is a Hillary girl all the way! I'll be doing whatever I can to make sure that tough broad is in the White House next year.

Happy Birthday, Lover

2007-12-19T14:34:00.000Z

Happy Birthday to my one and only...

Yes, I came out of hiding long enough to wish my boo a Happy Birthday. I know he's hurt me in the past with this faux Reese relationship drama, but I still love him nonetheless.

Taxi Driver Strike!

2007-10-26T20:12:00.000Z

So I have heard rumblings that DC is moving to metered cab fares rather than the current confusing zone system. I am not entirely sure how beneficial this will be to me since I travel exclusively in one zone 90% of the time and really have no idea if this will be cheaper for me. Either way the cab drivers are hot with this idea and are planning to strike on October 31st. Of all days! Now how will all the drag queens get home that night? Rude.

In any case, I have decided that the DC Taxi Commission needs to take a lesson from NYC. What we need: Meters, Credit Card Machines (because who carries cash), lights on top of the cab that work, bitches that drive fast and Bernadette Peters telling me to buckle the fuck up.

Until then, I have no sympathy for the cab drivers in this city.

No!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-24T15:41:00.000Z

Okay, so I let the first dalliances go and kept my mouth shut. He told me that it was a publicity stunt, that it meant nothing and that he loved me. But now, now I'm not so sure.

Why? Why oh why are you doing this to me? She's a slut. She's a homewrecker. I'll rip that stringy blonde hair right out of her head!

Reese, I've been a lady up til now because that is how I was raised, but that sweet southern act and the "bless your heart" doesn't work anymore! I've got your number you Jezebel!

I finally one upped Lindsay

2007-07-02T15:36:00.000Z

Well today is Lindsay Lohan's birthday and I'd like to start off by saying Happy Birthday to that tramp. Now you can legally drink yourself back into Promises. To celebrate her birthday, Lindsay ran out and grabbed herself a hot new iPhone on Saturday.

Too bad I bought mine on Friday. Sorry Linds, but your sad attempt to copy my style has put you on notice. Stop trying to imitate me, it's sad and unfortunate.

That said, the iPhone is HAWT. So worth every penny, and by penny I mean American Express' money as clearly I didn't have $600 laying around. Today I get to call Verizon and sadly bid them farewell (and fork over $175 to get out of my contract). Verizon has excellent service but until they get on the product bandwagon and start making some deals to get some decent phones, they cannot compete with this beautiful device sitting on my desk.

As I play with it more, I'll give some more thoughts and reviews. After nearly three days, I'm still madly in love with it.

My Phone Conversation Today

2007-06-21T21:13:00.001Z

Jake: Hey honey, what's going on?

Me: Nothing cutie, just at work...how about you?

Jake: I was out shopping for a gift for you today and wanted to know if you heard that Reese dumped me?

Me: I thought you two agreed to keep this farce up until the movie drops?

Jake: Yeah but I guess she is tired of being hounded by the press.

Me: I can see that. Well I have to admit I'm glad its over.

Jake: Yeah, honestly I felt like I was cheating on you or betraying you or something.

Me: Hon, we talked about this and you know that I didn't care and I know where you heart is. Don't worry about it. What time are you going to be home tonight?

Jake: Probably before you...should I get dinner started?

Me: Sure, I'll see you at home then.

Jake: Love you.

Me: Love you more.

You'll Thank Me Later...

2007-06-21T19:47:00.001Z

This has gotten me through the last few days. If you're feeling a bit bogged down, just watch this:

glumbert.com - Dramatic Chipmunk

To iPhone or Not to iPhone?

2007-06-18T20:26:00.000Z

So I am currently a Verizon subscriber and the not-so-proud owner of a beat up Motorola RAZR that I hate. My contract with Verizon is not up until December. I am also an Apple freak who thinks Steve Jobs shits bricks of gold. I think the iPhone is the hottest thing since the iPod and I'm dying to buy one on June 29th. I know I can get essentially the same features on a blackberry with Verizon as what I will get with iPhone. I know Verizon has better service than AT&T. I know that I can't afford to spend $600 on phone + $175 on ending my Verizon plan early. I have no idea how much the monthly plan to get internet capabilities on the new iPhone will cost, but I'm sure it will be more than what I'm paying now. But I still want it! I need it!

What to do!? Thoughts?

Quote of the Week

2007-06-15T13:55:00.000Z

So last night I'm sitting around watching "AC Hookers" on HBO (god, I mean, can you seriously think of anything better to watch at 10pm on a Thursday night?) and one particular hooker, Tia, was describing her path to ho-domination. One particular quote stood out and I think it is probably the funniest thing I have heard in a long time.

Tia said, "I don't work in no brothel because I ain't giving nobody half my money. They ain't doing half the fucking! You want half my money, you come over here and give half this blowjob."

That is what I call an shrewd businesswoman.

And to top it off, Tia left me with this very important piece of advice from which I think all my readers can benefit as well: "Finance before romance."

Thank you Tia, thank you! You are wise beyond your years.

Carrie Reads...Mika

2007-06-13T14:30:00.001Z

Last night, I had the pleasure to attend the Mika concert at the 9:30 Club. I was somewhat familiar with Mika and a few of his songs simply because he's been a relatively hot topic in the gay community. Most people with any gaydar at all would believe he's gay. He refuses to label himself. Unlike some people, I don't care if he's gay or not. I will say though, if he isn't a homosexual, then my gaydar is incredibly fucked up.

So there I am with about 1,000 other gay men (I'd estimate 90% of the men over 18 in the audience were gay) and a few ladies and I have to say I was very impressed. I knew the songs Grace Kelly and Love Today, but even not knowing the other songs, I became an instant fan. He's energetic, terribly cute and sounds like Freddie Mercury. Queen is one of my all time favorite bands so if you love Queen, you'll probably love Mika. He is a tad Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters combined with a little Robbie Williams and a lot of Freddie Mercury. Not a terrible combination if you ask me.

My new favorite song? Big Girl. Any song about fat chicks is hot. Check out his CD, Life in Cartoon Motion on iTunes. It's currently on sale for the lower than normal price of $7.99. So it'll cost you $8 if I'm wrong.

No, Chris Matthews, you are a bigot!

2007-06-06T15:30:00.000Z

While I have always been a fan of Chris Matthews, he is really starting to get on my nerves these days. Here is a clip of him taking on the notion that those who support marriage inequality in this country are not, in fact, bigots. Matthews concedes that not allowing gay people to marry is, by definition, discrimination. Well how then, if you support this discrimination can you not be a bigot? I know that word carries heavy connotations but to discriminate against a group based on sexual orientation is bigotry. Period. And to say you support civil unions, which in every way but name is the same as gay marriage but you do not actually support gay marriage is bigoted. I am okay with giving you all of the rights and benefits of a marriage like mine, but because you are a gay couple, I simply cannot see your relationship on equal footing in name to mine.

Chris goes on to say that "we cannot call everything in the past bigotry." I'm sorry Chris, but we can't? So slavery based on race was not bigotry? Not allowing women or African Americans to vote was not bigotry? Miscegenation laws that prevented marriages between consenting adults of varying races was not bigotry? Chris, I've been a fan for a long time but I have to part ways with you when you make completely ridiculous statements like that. You are wrong my friend. Opposing marriage equality based on sexual orientation by banning gay marriage is legal discrimination and bigotry. Allowing civil unions instead of marriage is on equal footing with separate but equal. I agree that in time, these notions will change and we have continuously moved towards more and more equality for all Americans, but that does not mean we should refuse to label the years of discrimination for what they were. You might not be a bigot in five years, but you are one today.

Carrie Reads...Dolores O'Riordan's "Are You Listening?"

2007-05-16T17:29:00.000Z

As a child of the 90s, I grew up listening and loving the sounds of the Irish group The Cranberries. To me, they are one of the most fantastic bands of all time. I have seen them in concert several times and continue to hope that they will release another album. Several years ago the band split up to pursue solo projects. This past Tuesday, Dolores O'Riordan released her solo CD titled "Are You Listening?" I purchased it on iTunes Tuesday morning and have been playing it non-stop. While her musical accompaniement might not include the original Cranberries members (in fact, her website makes zero mention of the Cranberries at all), the tone and the sound are very Cranberries. So if you, like myself, have been missing new Cranberries material, you should probably just go ahead and purchase this. None of the tracks are quite as strong and hard as some of the original Cranberries material (think Zombie), but they are still powerful due mainly to the Dolores' unique voice and talented writing.

I recommend Track #7 "Apple of My Eye" which has quickly become my favorite on the album. If you want something a little harder, try "Willow Pattern" which has that rock style reminiscent of the original Cranberries material.

All in all, I love the CD and highly recommend everyone buy it!

I'm so dead.

2007-05-10T16:15:00.000Z

So I came out of my blog coma to share this important announcement. Oral Sex increases your risk of throat cancer.

Hat tip to Towleroad for this important medical announcement.

According to the New Scientist, "People who have had more than five oral-sex partners in their lifetime are 250% more likely to have throat cancer than those who do not have oral sex, a new study suggests."

First of all, who has had oral sex with less than five people? Do they mean five people per month? And the article mentions the risk of throat cancer from drinking. Drinking causes throat cancer? Well after this news, I figure I have about 3 months to live, so I hope you all have enjoyed my blog.

My sympathies to all my VT friends!

2007-04-17T13:51:00.000Z

Yesterday was one of the most tragic days in American history. We saw first hand what unfettered access to guns and someone with no regard for human life can do. 32 people who woke up thinking it was going to just be another dreary Monday are now gone forever, lives taken by a South Korean English major who did this for reasons we may never fully understand. What is so hard for me to believe is this happened at a university with which I am fairly familiar. Growing up in Southern Virginia, most of your friends from high school go off to become Hokies. Most cars back home have Hokie stickers and most houses fly the Hokie flag. Some of us go off to other schools...me to the University of Virginia and spend the next four years arguing with your Hokie friends about why UVA is so much better than VT. Or you spend every single Monday after Thanksgiving weekend bragging about beating or hiding because you lost to VT again in football. It's classic in state rivalry that no one seems to understand unless you're a Hokie or a Cavalier. No matter how competitive we are with each other, we feel for each other in times like this. Yesterday, whether you're a Cavalier from UVA, a Duke from JMU, a Patriot from Mason or hell even a whatever William & Mary students are called from down there in Williamsburg, you remember all your friends who are Hokies knowing that no matter where they are, this is an even sadder day for them than for the rest of America.

I might be a Wahoo, but today my thoughts and my sympathies are for all my Hokie friends and family.

RIP Kurt Vonnegut

2007-04-12T13:34:00.000Z

Kurt Vonnegut died today at the age of 84. He will certainly be missed and always admired by this particular blogger. Rest in peace.

Dear Reese,

2007-04-03T21:22:00.000Z

There are rumors abound that say that you are secretly dating Jake Gyllenhaal. Now while I have admired you and been a big fan of yours for a long time, I find it hard to believe that you would betray me in such a fashion. Everyone knows that Jake is my man. He loves me and would never see someone behind my back. I know how the paps like to start these rumors so they can sell photos of you and Jake, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. But not without a stern warning. If these rumors at all prove to be true, then you should know what you are in for. I do not take kindly to having some backwoods hick trollop from Mississippi or wherever the hell you're from thinking she gonna take my man. So unless you want to keep that wig you got stitched into that head, I suggest you keep your distance.

You've been warned. Say hi to the kids, send them my love.

XOXO-
Carrie B.

@@#$ing Bitch!

2007-03-05T19:24:00.000Z

Not that I needed another reason to not be a Republican, but when something like this takes place during the Conservative PAC convention here in Washington, DC, it quickly reminds me of why I vote Democratic. Rudy Guiliani and Mitt Romney who were both in attendance should publicly condemn that boney ass shemale for her pathetic attempt to whore for attention during such an "important" event for the GOP. Oh and for using the "f" word.

Maybe if that bitch would eat something, she wouldn't be such a spiteful c***.

Calling All Kickballers

2007-03-01T20:33:00.000Z

Do you kickball? Are you gay? Are you on a kickball team with gays? If so, we should chat. My friend and I have typically played on a division that is predominately straight and we are bored with it. No offense, it has nothing to do with the fact they are straight...they are just boring people. Since we are now in the market for a new team/division, we are wondering if there are any gay teams out there or teams with some gay guys. We aren't opposed to straight people, heck my other kickball team I will continue playing with is pretty much all straight. And they are a lot of fun. We just thought we'd try something new. My Monday nights will be committed to my other team, but now my Tuesdays and Sundays will be free. Does anyone play? Have a team that needs more people? We have been playing on WAKA divisions, but not opposed to DC Kickball or NAKID either.

Also, if you are interested in playing kickball and want a fun team, email me as well. My Monday night team is always looking for fun people to join our team. We play in the Adams Morgan/Dupont area.

Let me know!

Your daily Jake

2007-02-28T20:38:00.000Z

From a recent TRL appearance to promote Zodiac (thanks to Just Jared for posting these):

Carrie Reads...the Oscars!

2007-02-26T15:46:00.000Z

I have not done a "Carrie Reads" segment in a while so I figured why not make the Oscars my first for the year? We have a lot to discuss, so let's jump right in shall we?

Let's just get this out of the way:

Nicole Kidman's face is really starting to concern me. It's just not right. She looks nothing like she did 20 years ago. I can't decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that it isn't right. I would like to implore all of the women who will attend future Academy Awards shows to please STOP wearing BOWS on their gowns to the Oscars. NO! NO! NO! No more bows! Charlize tried to pull this the other year and it didn't work for her and it doesn't work for you Nicole. I don't care if it's on your shoulder and not around your waist...no more bows! Abigail Breslin didn't even wear a bow and she's 10 years old.

There are several things wrong here. The first being Cameron Diaz. I cannot tolerate this no talent hag. Her face is fug, her spray on tan is terrible and she needs to go back to being a blonde. And I'm sorry but you don't wear white in February, even if you are in Los Angeles. And you don't wear a gown in 2007 that looks like something you wore to prom in 1987. At least not to the Oscars. I will say that I was hoping she, Scarlet Johannsen and/or Jessica Biel would get into some hateful cat fight on the red carpet.

Okay, I am not a fan of Kirsten Dunst in particular and last night she did nothing to improve her standing with me. The bangs are horrid and she would have looked better dressed like Marie Antoinette than in this thing. The lipsmackers has to go as well. In my opinion, the best thing she ever did was Drop Dead Gorgeous. She should have quite while she was ahead. Of course I don't like her because she dated my boyfriend for a while. But he's moved on so I'm trying not to hold that against her.

Love Emily Blunt but beginning to think that she was smoking a blunt when she put on this gown. Can we say budget call girl? Considering that she, Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep were all in the Devil Wears Prada, you'd think they could have picked better outfits for the Oscars. Tragic really.

Oh and speaking of Meryl, I'm sorry, but when Diana Keaton wears something nicer than what you have on to the Oscars, you know you need to rethink what you are wearing. Mmmkay?

Eddie Murphy's girlfriend has mirrors on her dress. I have no words.

Not a fan of the dress or the snotty tramp wearing it. Oh, and cut the hair Gwyn.

Okay and to show that I'm not a complete hater, here are people who I think managed to dress themselves in things that don't look like potato sacks:

I always think Cate Blanchett looks fabulous. This is not my favorite dress she's ever worn but it looks good on her.

I can't believe I'm even going to say this, but I think Penelope looked nice. Ugh, that hurt. I cannot tolerate anyone who has lived and worked in the United States so long and can barely string enough words together to do a commercial for L'Oreal. That said, she's giving it and her makeup is perfect. Now if she could just learn to speak English...

Helen Mirren is flawless. Nothing else to say.

Kate Winslet is one of my favorite actresses of all time. I think she's gorgeous and she did not disappoint last night.

And my pick for the most put together and fabulous looking at the Oscars goes to:

She's skinny, the hair is gorgeous, the makeup perfect and that dress is incredible on her. Ryan Philippe, eat your heart out.

And just for pure eye candy purposes:

Okay, he's a little overtanned and I'm starting to think the Academy hates him. He was in two excellent roles this year, was only nominated for one of them and lost.

Ryan Gosling was my pick for Best Actor and while he didn't win, he's certainly nice to look at.

While it's hard for me to understand how someone from a group called Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch is at the Oscars...and is nominated...I have to say that he is still a fine piece of man.

Speaking of fine pieces of man:

Mmmm.

Okay, so he's crazy. And he thinks aliens are going to take over the earth or something. And he's short. And he's crazy. I am sorry, but I still think Tom Cruise is a fine piece of ass. I have loved him since he was running around in a loin cloth in Legend. And I think that baby of his is adorable. Gay, straight, crazy or not...he still looks good.

And finally:

Okay! Okay! So I know he wasn't there and this isn't a picture from last night's show but he should have been there. Maggie was there. Where was Jake? He may not have won last year for Brokeback (even though he clearly deserved it), but he'll always be a winner in my heart. *sigh*

Brit, honey, get some help!

2007-02-22T18:44:00.000Z

Okay so at first when I heard about Britney shaving her head while I was canoodling in Los Angeles, I laughed, said she has lost her mind and then tried to figure out how I could run into her while in LA. But now I'm really honestly thinking this girl needs help. As filled with curiosity as I am and as most people are as to what is going on, I wish the paparazzi would just leave her alone! Let the girl get her shit together! She's younger than I am and I cannot imagine dealing with everything. She's been ridiculed and criticized for marrying K-Fed since day #1 and has been constantly harrassed and followed by people while trying to raise two kids as a fairly young mother AND now going through a divorce at the same time. I think I'd honestly lose my shit too.

I have to say I'm pretty happy to see K-Fed step up and force her ass into rehab if she intends to keep her kids. He doesn't seem to really be exploiting this, when clearly he could. Maybe he was given far less credit than he deserves. Time will tell I suppose. I have to believe he wants Britney to get it together. I don't think he sees her and those kids as bank accounts.

In any case, I'm rooting for Britney. Frankly I think her career is over but I do hope she gets off whatever she's on and gets her head straight. She's got two kids to raise. Hopefully people will back off enough to let her breath, though I doubt it.

RIP Anna Nicole Smith

2007-02-08T21:16:00.000Z

Anna Nicole is dead y'all. It's a sad day for everyone! Now Carrie is officially the dirtiest drunken slut on earth.

Rest in Peace girl, you deserve some quiet time!

ALSO: Howard K. Stern, if you think we aren't all looking at you suspiciously right now, think again!

My New Obsession

2007-02-04T19:55:00.000Z

I think it's clear why he is my new obsession - he looks vaguely like Jake Gyllenhaal, but on ice skates.

Ryan Bradley, 23, took Silver medal in the United States Figure Skating Championships this year edging out Johnny Weir who fell to third place, losing his title to Evan Lysacek. I really could care less but what I do care about is Ryan Bradley. He's gorgeous.

I am coming out of the closet as a figure skating buff. I have been to Champions on Ice at least five times, have met Sasha Cohen, Michelle Kwan and a plethora of other figure skating stars. I watch it whenever it is on tv. I care more about it than the Superbowl. Yes, I'm gayer than Andy Dick and I don't care!

So Ryan is my newest love and he fits in my top five squarely behind Jake Gyllenhaal, Eric Bana and Milo Ventimiglia and slightly ahead of Goran Ivanisevic. Welcome him to club will you?

A little Jake for you all...

2007-01-30T22:56:00.000Z

Don't say I never did anything for you.

Double Dose of Harry

2007-01-30T21:19:00.000Z

I'll admit that I feel slightly sketchy for even saying this but Harry Potter is beginning to grow into a very sexy young man. How old is he again? I'm not going to go to jail for saying this right?

Also, speaking of Brits named Harry, check out this video of Prince Harry. It's not often you hear him speak but he is dead sexy:

Comment Moderation

2007-01-25T18:30:00.000Z

I have decided to start comment moderation because I keep getting random messages from several people, mostly someone name "julie" who just blabs comments that are irrelevent to the post and are kind of crazy. This way those who are cuckoo for cocoa puffs can bother someone else. I'm tired of having to delete the comments so now I'll just approve comments relevant to the discussion at hand.

Sorry for any inconvenience. If I keep getting a bunch to moderate, I might just restrict comments to blogger users since it seem the majority of these comments come from folks not actually using a blogger account.

The State of Hillary's Wig

2007-01-24T15:39:00.000Z

Last night I decided to sit down and watch Bush's State of the Union speech. The only remarks I have to make on last night's event (other than that Pelosi blinks too much) is to say to Hillary Clinton: Girl. If you plan on winning this thing in 2008, then we need to talk about that hair. I don't know what you were thinking when you rolled down to the Capitol last night but honey, you need to check yourself. That wig is not cute. It's like a tinge of bulldyke meets mennonite. No! No! NO! Let's take a look, shall we:

Girl, even the two old farts behind you can't stand to look at it. For now, you have my support because I think everyone else running is either inexperienced (Obama) or has no chance in hell (Vilsack). I'd love to see you as President. I think you're highly intelligent, a bit ruthless but all in all, you have good intentions. Plus the Right Wing Conservative Bible-Beaters hate you and if that isn't enough reason to like you, I don't know what is. While I think you might motivate them to get out and vote, I won't back down if you're the best candidate we have to choose from for the Democrats. But unless you do something about that wig, I may have to rethink my support for your nomination.

Get it together!

An Apple a Day

2007-01-23T22:37:00.000Z

I hate going to the doctor. If I get sick, I have to be very sick to go or basically think I'm going to die. Well as of late I've been having back issues and was a bit concerned and then noticed that I had a suspicious mole, so I said to myself that this is not something to mess around with so I made an appointment at my doctor's office for this morning.

So I go in for that and then start moaning about all my other issues since I figured while I was there I'd tell him every ache I have had lately. Well turns out the moles, yes he found another mole in addition to the one I knew about, both look suspicious so he referred me to a dermatologist to have that looked at. Then he reminded me, as he always does, that I have not had a physical since Olivia Newton-John was asking us all to get physical and he said I also needed to come in and get a vaccination for Hepatitis A and B, which evidently I have never had. It seems at 28 years old, I just miss the mark where those vaccinations were standardized for all children. So rather than let me leave, he said, let's go ahead and get your first round of shots started. Oh yeah, and draw some blood since your iron levels were low the last time you were in. So today I go in for a little back pain and end up with skin cancer, shots in both arms and a gallon of blood drawn. Okay, so not a gallon but still. I hate needles. Not cute. I was poked three ways from Sunday and not in that oh so pleasant way we all love.

Then I call the dermatologist. The next available appointment? February 28th. Um, hello. If I were to, God forbid, have skin cancer, is it wise to make me wait a month to come in and have it checked? Rude. I hate doctors.

Good news is after my six months worth of shots, none of you trashy gay boys can give me Hep A or B! :)

Go Bears!

2007-01-22T18:50:00.000Z

Okay so I found that last night I was the only person in the bar who was cheering on Tom Brady and the Patriots to win. Yes, I know he's a bit cocky and gets too much attention, but anyone who doesn't think Tom Brady is gorg needs to get their eyes checked. And yes, the Patriots always win everything. But Peyton Manning looks like a smacked ass and I'm mad the Colts won! So that said, I'm cheering on da Bears for the Superbowl. Also, Thomas Jones plays for the Bears and he's a fellow Wahoo. I am sure I will be the only person in the bar cheering on the Bears, but whatever. Go Bears!

And as we all know, I don't need a real reason to post on Jake Gyllenhaal but here's a few pictures from his GQ spread. Again, if there is anyone who doesn't appreciate the perfection here, they need their eyes checked.

I love the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

2007-01-20T01:49:00.000Z

And here's why:

I have blogged about JP before because he was a contestant on the most recent version of Survivor. He is also gorgeous. And from the looks of it and what I read when I googled him after watching this week's episode of JDMA, he's evidently GAY. I always thought he had a bit of gayness to the way he speaks. And well, he wants to be a model and that is kind of gay if you ask me. Instinct magazine, a gay-oriented rag evidently approaches Janice saying they want him on the cover, but only if he's an openly gay man. Janice confronts him because of course she wants him to do it but to do it he has to basically be open about being gay. We'll find out exactly what happens next week, but for those like me who cannot wait, he's gay. Which is fairly well known because he works in a gay bar. At least well known to those gays who live where he lives. And now all gays who google him and find out about it.

This revelation makes me think the guys at Instinct heard that he was working for Janice and figured that they'd use it as a chance to 1) get on tv and 2) force him to either come out to America or not do the shoot and piss of Janice. While I appreciate finding out he's gay because he's gorgeous and in some distorted way it makes me think I could possibly become his husband, I think it is a tad shitty of Instinct to take advantage of it to get on TV. Maybe they were pissed that he never said he was gay on Survivor as if all gay guys need to wear that on their sleeve everywhere they go.

In any case, seeing him naked on JDMA makes Carrie very very happy. I suggest you all set your TiVos now.

Dying

2007-01-18T14:41:00.000Z

This is beyond hilarious, but note, if you are at work, keep the volume down a bit as there is some colorful language involved:

Monday Blues...on a Tuesday

2007-01-16T16:23:00.000Z

I can't begin to say how wonderful it was to come back to work from vacation for a whopping three days before getting to have another day off thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King, JR. However now I am sitting here trying to figure out again what it is that I do for this company, wanting desperately to be back in the comfort of my bed or better yet, still in Europe on vacation.

Since it's now 16 days into 2007, I figured maybe I would set some resolutions for myself. I had initially decided that upon my return to the District, I would quit smoking seeing that our nanny state government has banned it in the few places I feel at home in this city. Sadly with the warm weather we've been experiencing, I have managed to continue this nasty habit because going outside to huff down a dangler isn't so bad when it's 60 degrees outside in January. But as soon as I've huffed my way through this carton I bought at Duty Free, I'm going to give it a serious try and put down the cancer sticks once and for all. Wish me luck.

I have also decided that because I hate living in DC now that they took away one of the few things in life I enjoy - drinking with a cigarette in my hand - it might be time to leave this city. That and well I'm beginning to think that there isn't much more here for me. With that in mind and having recently discovered that Germany rocks my world and that I'm very popular there (I'm totally big in Europe), I think I might as part of my resolutions that will never come to fruition take up German, find a job and move to Berlin where undoubtedly I will meet the man of my dreams and live happily ever after. We all know that is as likely to happen as me giving up smoking. But its good to set goals for one's self, however unachievable they may be.

As if the smoking ban wasn't enough to convince me that I'm completely over DC, I had the absolute pleasure of seeing my ex boyfriend waltz into a local dive with his new beau. Upon seeing me, he made a concerted effort to spin around, grab his boyfriend's hand and saunter by me as if I gave a shit that he was now dating a leprechaun. First of all, you dumped me asshole. Secondly, you cheated on me before you bothered dumping me. You don't get to be snarky with me in a bar. If anyone is going to be immature and bitchy, its going to be me. Not being one to get shown up, I yelled loudly across the bar that I hoped he was able to keep his dick in his pants for this one, threw back the rest of my watered down cocktail and made my exit. Yes girls, DC is done. The signs are clear. As soon as I get this German thing down pat, she'll be bidding you all auf wiedersehen!

Jackie's Back!

2007-01-11T19:24:00.000Z

Well I hope you all had a fantastic New Year and so far 2007 has been fantastic for you! I just returned from a much needed and very enjoyable tour of Europe! 10 days romping from Zurich through Munich, Vienna, Prague and finishing up in Berlin. I can't even begin to explain how much fun it was and how I am dreading being back here in Washington, DC sitting at my desk at work and realizing that life is back to "normal."

I will write more on my trip hopefully this week and maybe post a few photos as well.

In the meantime, please keep a very good friend of mine in your thoughts. Her long term boyfriend who was in the Navy was killed when he was thrown from the submarine on which he worked during a rough storm and drowned along with a fellow crew member. She is clearly devastated having just left DC to start a new life with him in Chicago. She's an amazing person so please even though you may not know her, shout out a little prayer for her and her boyfriend's family if you so choose!

Again, I hope life is well for everyone and now that 2007 is here and I'm back to the drudgery of life, I hope to post more frequently than I had been in 2006.

Happy New Years!

2006-12-28T16:52:00.000Z

Tomorrow I will be jetting off to Europe for ten days, so I will see everyone in 2007! Be safe, have fun and kiss 2006 goodbye for me!

Crazy?

2006-12-27T19:11:00.000Z

Is this crazy:

Yes, that is a picture of Jake Gyllenhaal. Yes it is framed. And yes, it is on my desk.

Does this make me like a stalker-ish crazy kinda person or is this just an honest expression of my undying love for him?

Happy Birthday Jake!

2006-12-19T16:25:00.000Z

I know I said I was done until 2007, but I couldn't let my #1's birthday go by without wishing him all the best. I love you baby!

Happy Blogiversary to Me! And Happy Holidays to you!

2006-12-16T20:06:00.000Z

A year ago, I started this blog as a way for me to deal with feelings related to the end of a two year relationship with the Ex. Feeling like there were things I could not share with my friends around me or trying not to burden them with my emotions, I chose this medium to be able to say what I was thinking and feeling and hoping there were others out there who could empathize, offer advice or be comforted knowing they were not alone.

Over the course of a year, I have enjoyed writing about things not related at all to my relationship failing but about anything and everything. I have enjoyed expressing thoughts and feelings that I may not share with people who truly know me. I have enjoyed finding other blog "friends" who have commented on this blog and who's own blogs have entertained me over the past year. Kathryn, Cookie, Taylor, RCR, Dale (RIP), Matt Henry (RIP), Kansas CQ and on and on have filled this past year with many laughs. So thank you! And thank you for visiting my blog as well.

I know I have been fairly absent as of late, but I promise as 2006 comes to a close and we roll into 2007, I will try to get back into this on a more regular basis. I have moved, am planning a vacation, been incredibly swamped at work and have needed time to reflect on my own thoughts and feelings without blogging about them. But Carrie will be back, no fear and she has a feeling 2007 is going to be even wilder and crazier than this past year.

I hope everyone has a fabulous and safe holiday season. I will be traveling until mid-January, so have a fantastic New Year and see you next year!

Happy Birthday Matt!

2006-11-17T21:14:00.000Z

Happy Birthday to Matt in San Francisco!

Hope you have a good one!

Milo Ventimiglia: Moving up the Ladder

2006-11-16T17:20:00.000Z

I have posted before with a list of men I would most want to be stranded with on a deserted island. I hate to tell Chris Evans, but he's starting to get a little competition from the new star of the NBC drama Heroes.

Milo Ventimiglia plays Peter Petrelli on the show and is one of the reasons I have become hooked on the show. Gilmore Girls fans might remember him as Jess Mariano while American Dreams fans will remember him as Chris Pierce. I never watched either of those shows so am just now learning about this yummy actor, though I do remember him vaguely from that terrible Wes Craven film Cursed starring Christina Ricci.

He has definitely moved into my Top 10, but can he overtake Chris Evans and move into my top 3? Jake and Eric are secure, no worries. But Chris Evans should consider himself warned! Milo is hot on your heels!

Man Kills Kittens...Serves Less than Six Months

2006-11-16T16:58:00.000Z

Again, another animal cruelty story. I'm an animal lover, an avid supporter of HSUS and someone who thinks people who mistreat animals deliberately deserve to be locked up for a long time. So, hearing that some psychopath from Hagerstown, Maryland who beat up his girlfriend and then tossed her four kittens on a fire killing them only served 19 weeks in jail for doing it pisses me off. Charges of assault against his girlfriend were dropped in a plea bargain, even after he threatened to kill her basically.

Someone who could kill an animal out of spite or in a fit of rage like that has mental issues and should not be free to walk the streets.

My Celebrity Look-a-likes

2006-11-16T16:00:00.000Z

If you head over to MyHeritage.com, you can run a program that uses your face picture and tells you what celebrities you most resemble. I ran mine and thought the results were hilarious. See if you can figure out why!

Well to test the accuracy, I ran it again using a different picture. Here were the second results:

For some reason MyHeritage thinks I look like the Rock. Though I think they are smoking crack, I'll take it. He's hot.

Happy Birthday Namaste!

2006-11-15T20:39:00.000Z

Happy Birthday to my friend Namaste!

Hope you're having a good one!

Woes of the Metro Rider

2006-11-14T14:22:00.000Z

Well this morning I experienced the trifecta of annoyances on the metro coming to work. I'm not a morning person, admittedly, and I am never in a pleasant mood when commuting to work in the morning. I find that a good percentage of metro riders are unnecessarily and often times deliberately rude and annoying.

Metro Offender #1: Picture it, I board the train and stand through several stops until we reach Metro Center where a good portion of the train departs, making several seats available for the passengers left on the train. I take a seat, which I rarely do as there are plenty available. I don't like to sit because you never know who is going to choose to sit beside you. And often times, as was the case this morning, you get some annoying person beside you who is either large and in charge of the entire seat or is lacking in personal hygiene or even worse, the one I had today. A cute and seemingly quiet Asian girl who immediately got on the phone with what must have been her boyfriend yammering away in whatever language she speaks very loudly. I rolled my eyes and kept flipping through my Express. Then the icing on the cake was directly across from us on the advertisement spot that runs along the ceiling of the car was a sign that said keep your phone conversations to yourself. While technically she was doing that since I did not have a clue what she was saying, she certainly didn't keep it quiet.

Metro Offender(s) #2 - #10: Everyone knows that you don't stand in front of the doors when the train arrives at your station because, particularly in rush hour, people will need to exit this train and if you are obstructing said exit, you hold up the process and annoy all parties involved. Well this morning everyone at the station where I work was attempting to be courteous by backing away from the door. The issue was they failed to determine where they were in relation to the exit for the station and they all crowded in a nice big semi-circle blocking me from walking off the train and towards the escalators so I still had to break through the crowd to get to the escalator. People, listen up...backing up a foot from the door is not enough. Think about where you are in relation to the rest of the station. Backing up a foot only means I have to travel another foot before I knock you out of my damned way. If there is only one exit, stand on the opposite side of the door when the train pulls up from that exit so departing passengers can walk out without having to look at you. Please. The train isn't going to leave without you and by the time I get off of it, there are plenty of seats available for you to grab away from the elderly or infirm.

Metro Offender #11 - #12: Grandmother and granddaughter decided to treat themselves this morning with a lovely trip to one of DC's many prominent attractions, which so happens to be at the same metro stop as my place of employment. Well as with most tourists, they have no clue how to use an escalator. Granddaughter keeps climbing the steps and stopping when she gets too far ahead of grandma. Grandma is yelling at her to slow down and to hold on, because clearly at any moment the escalator is going to lurch and throw the granddaughter down the steps to her demise. Grandma, taking her own advice, clutches the railing. Unfortunately it's the railing on the left, thereby between the two of them, blocking my and every other person's ability to walk up the steps. Normally if the escalator was going down, this would really annoy me. However this morning, with all I had been through already and with the zero caffeine consumption I was going on, I gladly perched behind Ma-maw and little Cindy Hoo and had the magic of technology take me to sea level. I bet your sweet ass when they are heading back down to the metro on their way home, they commit the same offense and they had best hope they are out of this neighborhood long before 6pm when I'm balling out of this dump.

There you have it - the Trifecta. Loud girl bitching at boyfriend on cell phone at 8am in a language unfamiliar to everyone. Groups of idiots blocking the departure of all passengers from the train. Sweatpants granny and her illegitimate granddaughter blocking the entire escalator out of fear they will fall to their deaths if they move.

Dear Dan Tangherlini with WMATA. You have solicited questions and suggestions. How about you start by posting these rules somewhere on some big sign at the entrance to the metro that says don't block the train doors or the escalators and require that people stay off their phones. That way it is not just courtesy, but a rule. Then when I knock people down, I don't feel guilty about it later when I'm sober or caffeinated.

Amazing Race

2006-11-14T01:31:00.000Z

I don't know if anyone else is watching the Amazing Race, but I had to post a little on my thoughts on Tyler and James, the resident cuties on the Race. These male models and former drug addicts who became good friends in rehab are about the only good reason to watch the show with the teams that are left.

Personally I don't like James and Tyler as competitors. They are too close with the two blondes who I can't stand. That said, they are totally hot. And I'm sorry, but they have more lace in their drawers than I do. Every single time they talk about their "friendship" I keep waiting for one of them to cry or for them to just start making out or something.

In any case, I'd like to thank James and Tyler, especially Tyler for giving me a good reason to continue watching this season.

Now for the love of God, will you two please just bang? I'm dying here. It's like a hot porn but without all the hot man on man action.

Anyone else watching?

Moving on up!

2006-11-13T15:10:00.000Z

One of the reasons why I have been so lackadaisical with my posting has been that I have been in the midst of an apartment hunt. It is hard to believe that is has been a year since I moved out of the apartment I shared with my ex but it has been. And as is typical for me, I move pretty much every year, never staying in one place for very long. I would gladly have stayed where I was but my current roommate was leaving DC and so the opportunity presented itself to move. After weeks of searching both for a roommate and then together for an apartment the search is over. Yesterday we signed our new lease and in one week, I'll be packing it up and trucking it back over to my old neighborhood.

The new apartment is super cute. It has been completely renovated and so we'll be the first folks to live there. The kitchen has silver cabinets and stainless steel appliances - very modern and very cute. Hardwood floors throughout and my bedroom has a patio off the back of it along with an enormous walk in closet. It's also in the neighborhood I lived in the previous two apartments I had in the District. I'll be closer to my friends, the bars and everything that makes me happy! I can't wait! So if my postings are sparse again the next few weeks, it is only because I'm packing up my life.

Housewarming details to come later!

Oprah is in town y'all!

2006-11-13T14:59:00.000Z

Today marks the Groundbreaking Ceremony for the Martin Luther King Memorial here in Washington, DC. Oprah is at this very moment speaking to the crowd about how without men like Martin Luther King, Jr., she would not be able to do what she does today. I'm not sure if she means her TV Show or the fact she looks flawless today. Girl knows how to dress.

She also knows how to give a speech. She is sounding very, um, presidential you could say. Well not presidential like our current President, but presidential in a way Presidents should be. I'm just saying.

Meredith Grey...slut? Or am I just jealous?

2006-11-10T06:14:00.000Z

Meredith Grey is a slut. I'm just saying. I'm sick of watching her poor tortured ass be distraught over not knowing which hot man to screw next. She has pouty face, a la Renee Zellweger, and I hate that. And she could seriously use a VO5 Hot Oil Treatment if you ask me. I just don't get how the tramp gets all that dick. Whatever...she's starting to really annoy me.

And yes, I'm jealous and no I haven't gotten laid in a while. That doesn't mean I'm wrong about that tramp.

Jackie's Back

2006-11-08T17:44:00.000Z

Well it has been a while since I have posted anything of any significance. I do not really have a solid excuse. I've been lazy. I think every so often you just get tired of talking. It isn't that I have been void of things to discuss, I just have not been able to muster the strength to log in and do it. Well that's all changed. And what a spectacular day to get back into it.

It may not be shocking to anyone to hear that I am elated about last night's election results. The Democrats did more than what was necessary to take back the House from the Republicans. Even without the Senate, this does something very important. It takes silly issues like the Federal Marriage Amendment off the table as an item of discussion. No longer can Republicans use that Amendment to demonize gay people in this country and win elections. At least for two more years. I think that is fantastic that the politicians there can erase one thing off their "To Do" lists and use that time in a more productive manner.

Winning the House also means that Democrats will have the highest ranking woman to hold political office as their Speaker. Madame Speaker Elect Nancy Pelosi will most likely replace Dennis Hastert as Speaker. Regardless of my own mixed feelings over Pelosi and her ilk, it is remarkable that after so long, a woman sits so close to the Presidency. She's a bit liberal for my taste, but I think she will make an excellent Speaker.

As for the Senate, I have said to friends for weeks that Virginia would decide this. While I thought it would be decided last night and while I am ecstatic that Webb surprised me by pulling ahead of George Allen, it does NOT surprise me that the power of the Senate will depend on who is victorious in that race. And sadly I don't think we will know for weeks. As a Virginia native, I did everything I could to convince family and friends to vote and to vote for Jim Webb. George Allen is a Republican of the worst kind. He's a bigot, a racist and a homophobe. I think America deserves better than that. Virginia most certainly deserves better than that.

I'd also like to thank those Virginia residents who voted against the Marriage Amendment. While it passed, not surprisingly, with a large vote, I was very happy to hear family and friends brag about how they voted against it because they know that not only was it unnecessary, but was simply wrong. It does hurt a bit that as Virginia edges closer and closer to being a purple state rather than a red one, that such measures of discrimination still bring voters to the polls.

But politicans alone aren't the only reason why last night's elections were so fantastic. Anyone who reads this blog knows that on occasion I post about issues regarding animal rights. I am happy that in Michigan, voters shot down Proposal 3 which would have opened up hunting season on the mourning dove, the state's official bird of peace, something not allowed since 1905. Voters in Arizona also passed Proposition 204, also known as the Humane Treatment for Farm Animals Act. While I am not a vegan and love some grilled chicken or a nice steak, I do believe that we should at the very least find the most humane way in which to slaughter livestock and give them as much dignity as possible while they are alive.

As the Senate hangs in the balance, I can relax a little knowing that the Americans have stood up and said no more. No more gay baiting as a distraction to a real lack of foreign and domestic policy. No more using religion to convince Americans that stem cell research is an abomination, as if the average American is too stupid to know better. No more using the word terrorism to terrorize the American public into believing that change means defeat. As I've written this post, Donald Rumsfeld has resigned as Secretary of Defense. If that isn't proof that your voice matters, let the turnout show you just how much it does. Democrats carried Montana by less than 2,000 votes. They will carry Virginia by less than 10,000. Your vote counts. Your voice counts. And when you use both, you can change everything.

God Bless America...for real.

RIP DC Gays of our Lives

2006-11-01T15:30:00.000Z

Another favorite blogger bites the dust! What is the world coming to?

Goodbye Dale, you will be missed!

Hiatus

2006-10-25T22:26:00.000Z

For all of those who have been so kind as to ask if I'm alive, yes, I'm alive. I have been in a weird mood. Things are weird in my personal life, at work, everywhere. So I've taken a hiatus from reading other blogs and writing on my own. I will return. I'm fine, nothing fishy is up and I will be back!

For now, I'd just like to give a big high five to the New Jersey Supreme Court, who in their infinite wisdom decided that gays cannot be denied the benefits of marriage received by heterosexual couples. While it may eventually end up being a civil union rather than a marriage, it's full equality in the eyes of New Jersey and that deserves a thank you! I mean really, how often are you given the chance to be proud of New Jersey?

More later!

Still Alive

2006-10-20T19:20:00.000Z

I'm still alive. I have just been swamped with things. Lame excuse I know but I haven't felt much like reading anyone's blogs or writing on my own. I'll write soon and update my life.

POP POP BANG: Revenge of the Democrats

2006-10-04T21:16:00.000Z

Oh and please go read this.

Fox News can suck it...

2006-10-04T20:54:00.000Z

I hate Fox News, always have and likely always will...and this is just yet another reason for you all to see just how fake their asses are.

Since this Mark Foley scandal has erupted inside the Beltway, Fox News has repeatedly misrepresented Mark Foley as a Democrat on their "news" channel in order to confuse the average American who might not follow politics into thinking Mark Foley is a Democrat.

So either they are deliberately lying to their viewers in an attempt to be "fair and balanced" or they are just really terribly at doing the news. Either way, they can suck it and if you watch Fox News and believe they are "fair and balanced" then you're a moron.

Mark Foley: pervert or just really thoughtful?

2006-10-03T18:14:00.000Z

I have nothing to add to this whole Mark Foley scandal that Jon Stewart hasn't already covered:

i-Tune 8 Ball

2006-10-02T20:08:00.000Z

Thanks to Matt in San Fran for this idea.

Basically, you use iTunes on shuffle to answer the following questions:

1. How are you feeling today?
Just a Phase - Incubus "Morning View"

2. Will you get far in life?
Tonight I Wanna Cry - Keith Urban "Be Here"

3. What do your friends see you as?
Stolen Away On 55th & 3rd - Dave Matthews Band

4. What is your best friend's theme song?
Your Congratulations- Alanis Morrisette "Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie"

5. What is the story of your life?
Future Lovers - Madonna "Confessions On a Dancefloor"

6. What was high school like?
Full of Grace - Sarah McLachlan "Surfacing"

7. How can you get ahead in life?
Happy Endings - The All-American Rejects "Make Like a Tree" (haha!)

8. What is the best thing about your friends?
Amazing - Aerosmith "Get a Grip"

9. What is in store for this weekend?
Y Yo Sigo Aqui - Paulina Rubio "Border Girl"

10. What song describes you?
In Another's Eyes - Trisha Yearwood "Songbook"

11. To describe your grandparents?
Sewn - The Feeling

12. How is your life going?
One More Night (Club Mix) - Amber (ain't that the truth?)

13. What song will they play at your funeral?
Lay Me Down - The Wreckers "Stand Still, Look Pretty" (haha!!)

14. How does the world see you?
Pretty Eyes - The Cranberries "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee"

15. Will you have a happy life?
The Ballads of Johnny Butt - Sublime "Sublime" (that doesn't sound very good since its about some drug user who falls off the deep end)

16. What do your friends really think about you?
Smile Lines - Incubus "A Crow Left of the Murder" (Bitches! I don't have smile lines!)

17. Do people secretly lust after you?
Nice to Know You - Incubus "Morning View"

18. How can I make myself happy?
Hyper-Ballad - Bjork "Post"

19. What should you do with your life?
Stolen - Jay Sean "Now 59 (Disc 1)"

La Douleur Exquise

2006-09-25T14:03:00.000Z

"We were having one of those great first dates you can only have when it's not an actual date."

I have not felt like writing much lately which is why my postings have been rather juvenile and there more to keep it up and provide humor rather than really discuss anything important going on in my life. I have been in a particularly downer mood the last few weeks and have had a lot of things rambling around in my head that I have not really felt like discussing. I'm sure that happens to most of us. I think a big part of it is that it was basically one year ago almost to the day when the Ex and I split up. While I know I have really moved on, there will always be a part of me that will wish he and I had worked out. I still miss him very much. It is very hard for me to believe that it has been an entire year simply because the pain I feel when I think about everything that happened is still very strong. I can recall vividly that first week after we broke up, how utterly demolished I was. I cried non-stop day and night, didn't go to work, lost 10 pounds because I wasn't eating and feeling so completely out of control over the situation. I think now the feelings are less about him but more about the comfort and happiness of being with someone who you at least thought cared about you. That isn't the only reason I've been Debbie Downer the last few weeks I'm sure, but it certainly has added to the gloomy days.

It hasn't been all bad however. I have been spending some time hanging out with someone I met not too long ago. Our hanging out has been strictly on a friendly basis, having only met because of some random coincidence. What is so weird is I've had such a good time hanging out with him that I think I am finding myself attracted to him. Okay, more than think, I know I am attracted to him. This is unfortunate because I know the feelings are not mutual. We seem to have a good time hanging out together and conversation flows easily and all my friends really seem to like him. I do not understand why we can meet someone who seems so perfect, yet know that there will never be anything more than friendship between us. Why is it always one-sided?

This weekend we went out together Friday and Saturday and then spent the day together yesterday. Yesterday really was one of those perfect dates that really wasn't a date. We had brunch then watched tv all day, grabbed some dinner that we ate while watching a show we both love. It was a great time.

I know I am treading in dangerous water allowing myself to spend so much time with him and knowing that I am beginning to feel things for him that I should not. I know deep down that he does not and will not feel the same way for me. How do you pull back from a situation like that and keep yourself from crossing a line you know you shouldn't cross? Is it too late?

All in all, spending time with him has helped me cope with the sadness I've been feeling the last few weeks, but exposes me to the potential for only more sadness. It dredges up those tenants of insecurity that I can't seem to get away from: Why can't I find love? Why did things with the ex have to end? Will I ever be happy again like I was before last September?

Chavez smackdown.

2006-09-21T20:43:00.000Z

It seems that the rest of the Democrats feel the same way I do.

Poor George, you know it's a sad state of affairs when Nancy Pelosi takes up for you.

Chavez say what?

2006-09-20T20:50:00.000Z

I don't know much about this Chavez guy who is the President of Venezuela, but I'm wondering, why do we give a shit that he thinks Bush is the devil? I don't like George Bush by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm at least an American so feel like I can talk smack. Since when do we care about Venezuela? No offense to any Venezuelans in the house, but who gives a damn? He seems a little off his rocker if you ask me. He should just shut up and worry about keeping Venezuela off the third world country list.

Dying

2006-09-15T03:24:00.000Z

Survivor: Cook Islands

2006-09-15T02:43:00.000Z

So I am watching the first episode of Survivor: Cook Islands and there are some hot mens up on that show. They divided the teams by ethnicity: caucasian, african american, asian and hispanic. Oddly enough, I think the hottest men on that show are the two younger Asian guys.

This is only odd because there is a specific type of Asian guy I typically am attracted to and Survivor managed to find two for me. Brad I would guess is probably gay, which will make me lust after him even more this season.

There is also a hot Hispanic guy, who's body is beyond hot.

And of course that hot white guy who has already managed to find a girl to hook up with on the island after being there about five minutes.

All in all, a typical Survivor lineup. The hot guys will likely go quickly as always because someone wants me to be miserable all season.

Adios Ann

2006-09-14T03:12:00.000Z

I was very saddened to hear that former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards passed away from cancer today. She was a reminder that not so long ago, Texas fell in the blue category of politics and will hopefully return there soon enough. An amazing politician, a fabulous woman of power and someone who I admire greatly. You rocked my world Ann. Rest in peace cowgirl!

Saddam Hussein the next Kid in the Hall?

2006-09-12T14:08:00.000Z

I read today that during his trial, a Kurdish villager who was testifying against Saddam Hussein proclaimed, "Congratulations! You are in a cage, Saddam!" Later in the day, Saddam lashed out at what he referred to as "agents of Iran and Zionism" and said he would "crush your heads."

This makes me think of this:

And it makes me laugh. I am totally picturing Saddam sitting in the courtroom looking at everyone going, "I am crushing your head. Crush, crushing your head." And pinching their heads with his fingers. Hilarious.

A Tribute to Alysia

2006-09-11T22:53:00.000Z

I heard about the 2996 project where bloggers from across the globe were each going to post a tribute to a fallen American from September 11th. I guess the site has come down unfortunately due to high traffic, but the bloggers have continued with their tributes. I scanned the list and found one for Alysia Basmajian but the link seemed broken.

I never met Alysia Basmajian, but briefly knew her husband in high school. I doubt Anthony would even remember me, though oddly enough after all those years I still remembered him. Both Anthony and Alysia grew up in Richmond and both attended William & Mary. In their junior year, Alysia became pregnant. Probably something that would terrify most juniors in college. However, Alysia and Anthony struggled through their remaining years in school not just as students, but also as parents. They persevered and graduated and shortly after, they and their daughter Kaela moved to New York where both Anthony and Alysia found jobs. Alysia was working as an accountant at the firm Cantor & Fitzgerald on the 101st floor of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Anthony worked at the New York Stock Exchange a few blocks away.

Though I haven't spoken to Anthony in more than a decade, as soon as I saw Alysia's name on the list of the missing, I thought there may be a connection. I later found out that she was indeed his wife and they had a child together who was only two on September 11th. Being the same age as Anthony and Alysia, I was impressed and shocked at how determined they must have been to balance both parenthood and a college education and equally impressed at the fact they were succeeding in life.

Since 9/11, I have read several articles about Alysia and Anthony and their love and dedication to each other and their daughter. According to a NY Times article profiling victims of 9/11, the couple had found a list of life's major stresses and realized that they had done nearly everything on the list. Anthony said, "We'd gotten married, graduated, raised a child, found a job, moved to a new city. It was stressful, but it was O.K. because we faced it together."

The last item on the list was the death of someone you love.

Though I never met her, whenever I think about 9/11, I think about Alysia and Anthony and that little girl. I know that while Anthony, Kaela and Alysia's family will certainly never forget her...I hope they realize that their story touched me and hopefully many others as well. Keep Alysia, Anthony and Kaela in your thoughts today as you reflect on what life is all about. I can only hope one day to find the love and happiness they seemed to share, however short of a time they were given to enjoy it.

CNN Memorial to Alysia
William & Mary Obituary
Legacy.com Tribute

Five Years Later

2006-09-11T00:52:00.000Z

Today, September 11, 2006, starts like most days and much like September 11, 2001 started. A work day, though my commute is slightly different than five years ago, I return to the very same office I worked in five years ago for the first September 11th since 2001, having left that office shortly after 9/11 to work in Virginia. It seems odd to be back in the same place and working with so many of the same people who I shared that horrible day with.

I, like everyone, still remember exactly where I was when hearing about the first attack. My office sits in pretty much the same place as it did then. I remember walking through the lobby and watching on the television when the second plane hit the south tower, thinking I was watching footage of the first plane hitting and then realizing that both towers were now in flames. Not long after, the report came across that the Pentagon was hit. The third plane had flown over Washington Boulevard right where I had passed not two hours before. It was no longer just something tragic happening in another city. It really was a bit terrifying. Immediately people at work scampered to figure out what to do. Several coworkers had family members who worked in the Pentagon and were in understandable hysterics. My mother immediately started calling my phone pleading for me to get out of DC. Knowing there was no real reason to leave DC nor really being able to since the city was gridlocked, I remember standing in the gym at work with all of my coworkers as we silently watched the news, everyone in shock that this was really happening. I can almost pinpoint the exact spot I was standing when I watched the towers collapse. I was standing beside a coworker who would find out days later that her cousin was in that building as it fell. So many of us have the same experience, knowing where we were that day, what we were doing, remembering how the adrenaline rushed through our body and our emotions were out of control. Knowing people who lost loved ones or hearing the terrible stories from that day. None of us were immune from the effects of 9/11, even those who did not live in New York City or Washington, DC.

I remember driving home to Virginia that night and as I crossed the 14th Street bridge seeing the Pentagon still in flames, the smell of smoke still strong in the air. From that day on to even today, the emotions felt, while possibly diminishing with time, are still very strong for me, as I'm sure for everyone else. This weekend was filled with specials on TV about that day. The most disturbing aired on CBS last night which I had seen before. Two French documentary filmmakers were filming that day with a fire crew in NYC and most of their footage was shot from inside the WTC during the events. You hear bodies hit the ground as people jump from the burning towers. You see firemen that died that day rush into the building and you see injured run out of the building. I saw another special that showed children who lost parents five years later. So many of them spoke about how they find it hard to even remember how their father or mother's voice sounded, the way they smelled, the difficulty in even remembering their faces after five years of absence. So many of them were so young on September 11th. For them, seeing the footage of 9/11 on TV over and over isn't just emotional. They are forced to witness over and over their parent's death. I cannot imagine watching and knowing that you were seeing the last moments of your father or mother's life and how you must just want to be able to go back to that day and change things. I always tell myself I won't watch those specials again. That it is been five years and we cannot change what happened so what is the point in focusing on it so much. But then you think about how many people's lives were impacted and how lucky you are that you were not. You feel obligated to be reminded of the tragedy. So I watched and just like that day and the weeks following and every year on the anniversary, it stirs emotions that are inexplicable and yet shared by all of us. There never seem to be enough tears.

So it has been five years. It is hard to believe five years have passed because it still makes me sick to think about it. I still cannot comprehend how horrific that day was. I doubt in five more years I will feel any differently about it. I guess all you can do is take a moment today to think about that day and remember everything and everyone we have lost since 9/11. What else can you do?

Don't F With a Fat Nurse

2006-09-09T05:44:00.000Z

I can't decide if the fact I chuckled at this means I'm heartless, an asshole or completely justified. You decide.

My takeaway is that this nurse is a badass and I won't be breaking into her house anytime soon.

Carrie's Endorsement for Mayor...as if you care.

2006-09-09T03:01:00.000Z

Not that anyone really cares who I'm voting for, I finally decided to do a little research and see a debate between the candidates for Mayor of DC. I understand that the Washington Post and several other folks have endorsed Adrian Fenty, jumping on the bandwagon of a few polls that show him in the lead. I was one of those people who thought, oh he looks good and seems intelligent and magnetic. Then I actually took time to listen to him. I'm sorry, but he sounds like an idiot. I'm sure I'll get a lot of haters for that, but I'm sorry, in a debate, he couldn't hold a candle to the others on the panel. He had little to say of substance, little to say about his record on anything and frankly I think he's blowing hot air. I really believe he's popular because he's a sharp looking guy. Charm counts when we're talking about politics, no doubt. But frankly, this city needs more than a pretty face. Sorry to those friends I know who are working on his campaign, but I won't be voting for Fenty.

Linda Cropp, the only clear competition to Adrian Fenty seems to be far more aware of what the city needs, is able to clearly communicate her plan as Mayor and speak to her previous record on helping DC residents. She speaks far more eloquently, seems far more experienced and if I chose to vote for someone who had a chance of winning, my vote would without a doubt go to Linda Cropp over Adrian Fenty.

That said, I am not voting for Linda Cropp or Adrian Fenty. My vote will go to Marie Johns.

Marie was on the ball at the debate. She answered every question with answers and not more questions. The other candidates wasted their time bitching about what's wrong with DC and that it needs to be fixed. Big duh. None of them bothered to really go into what they intend to do to fix those problems. Linda came close, but honestly I fear her as mayor simply because she screams old school DC politics to me. I know this is why Adrian Fenty seems more appealing. He's younger and fresh. But empty. I mean he has the audacity to debate public education in DC when his kids are too good to even attend public DC schools. Clearly he hasn't cared enough about it as a council member to focus on improving it so his kids can go to DC public schools.

Marie Johns seemed to have it all. I was impressed with the things she has done to improve education, even when not in an elected office. I was absolutely impressed with how eloquently she spoke about important issues...she seemed unrehearsed and heartfelt and while that may not necessarily be reality, I think it speaks volumes to have someone who can communicate a clear thought without it sounding like a sound byte. My favorite comment Marie had during the debate, specifically regarding education was that in all her years of watching this council (which includes Fenty and Cropp), she's never seen them debate education the way they debated a baseball stadium. Amen Marie, Amen.

So that said, I endorse Marie Johns for Mayor. I hope I don't talk myself out of voting for who I think is the best candidate in order to vote for Cropp to keep Fenty from being mayor. I don't want to think my vote is wasted, but if Fenty ends up Mayor, I'm afraid it would be.

Janelle is Truly Outrageous!

2006-09-06T19:40:00.000Z

Okay so I know I'm getting a bit obsessive, but she's so close to winning.

I thought this was funny...glad to see I'm not the only Janelle-obsessed fan out there.

Suri Cruise Revealed

2006-09-06T15:16:00.000Z

So the first photographic evidence of the existence of Suri Cruise was released today by Vanity Fair. The photos taken by Annie Leibovitz show the baby chilling with "mom" and "dad" and I have to say that regardless of whether that baby is Tom and Katie's, it's super cute. That head full of dark hair and those odd Asian-like eyes, while maybe not enough to convince the world that she's not a fake, still make for a pretty photographic kid. I love how she is totally chilling in Tom's leather jacket like "Shiloh Nouvelle Jolie-Pitt who?"

Everything considered, I thought for sure something was wrong with this kid. Turns out the only thing wrong with this kid is her parents. She's adorable.

Janelle Rocks My World

2006-09-06T01:26:00.000Z

The Big Brother gods have been smiling down on my girl Janelle this week! First she manages to get herself off the block, have both Danielle and Chicken George leave, then when I really thought she was done, she manages the most important POV of the season and saves herself. Not only does she save herself, but she manages to do something that no one else in BB history has ever done...she evicted Will. Single-handedly slaughtering Chill Town, who should have been eliminated weeks ago. Danielle will be most pleased and I think if Janelle makes it to the final two, she has guaranteed Danielle's vote.

Now over the next few nights, Erika, Janelle and Mike Boogie play a three part HOH competition that will determine the final HOH. Mike Boogie has for some reason already dropped out of the first one, assuming that the other two ladies will inevitably take him to the end either way. Which is silly. Why would Janelle take Mike Boogie to the final if she wins the ability to choose? She has a much better shot beating Erika than Mike Boogie. However Erika has won the first competition since Janelle, shocked by Mike's exit, pulled her hand off her key. So Erika will play either Mike or Janelle for the final HOH. Hopefully Mike will bow out again and allow Janelle to fight Erika for it. If Janelle wins, she should take Erika to the final two. If Erika wins, she should take Mike Boogie to win, though I think either way she has lost against either Janelle or Mike Boogie. She clearly doesn't think that so will hopefully take Janelle.

If Janelle wins BB7: All Stars, I will be the happiest homo in the world.

BB7

2006-08-30T03:32:00.000Z

I don't know how the hell she does it, but Janelle is safe another week. I love her. I thought she was gone weeks ago but she has managed to survive. And as shady as Will and Mike Boogie are, Janelle has kept herself there by winning HOH and POV when it counts. While I would have preferred that Erika put up Will instead of Danielle, as long as Janelle stays, I'm pleased. Will would have been better because it would have devastated Chilltown if he went home and Danielle was already gunning to get rid of their alliance. However, had Will been nominated I think Janelle would have kept him in the house anyway which means George would have left. While I want George gone, I'd rather have either Danielle or Will gone. Janelle must win HOH this week and she MUST nominate Mike and Will. I think she will, as much as she pretends to be aligned. She knows they will come after her. If she doesn't win HOH, she will without a doubt be going up on the block again. How many weeks can she be nominated and escape eviction? I need her to stay off the block. She needed Danielle in the house to keep someone other than her as a target. This week Danielle will leave and there's no one left as dangerous as her.

Either way, Janelle rocks for winning the veto again!

An apple a day...

2006-08-28T13:47:00.000Z

So after some conversation with someone who apparently is familiar with Doc, I have determined that while he may not have been necessarily seeing anyone else while he and I were dating, he certainly was willing to had the other party been so interested. Or at the very least, he was never interested in me enough to not consider other options. So, the Doc is done. I have not spoken with him since all of this happened and he has only called me once, leaving a voicemail saying that he had been traveling and apologizing for being out of touch. I will not be returning his call. It is clear to me where he stands now. I haven't spoken to him in nearly a week...he has no clue that I am upset about the text message as I haven't discussed anything really with him since that exchange. He certainly does not know that I know some of his actions while we were together. And yet, I still have heard very little from him. I feel like he'll keep in touch enough to maybe keep me thinking he might be interested so I'll come by and "visit." Well he can keep on keeping on.

It's all a bit disappointing but I honestly think I am already over it. I have no issues with someone who isn't ready to date someone seriously. I suppose there are plenty of people out there who are only looking for something casual. I'm a far too needy and emotional person to casually date anyone. I'm not asking to move in or get married, but to me, if you are dating me and sleeping around or dating other people then clearly I am not someone to whom you are attracted enough that you would consider seeing where your interest in me will go rather than "play the field." To me, dating casually is "friends with benefits." That's fine is that is what both parties want. It just is not a scenario in which I will ever be happy. I want someone to be excited about the idea of being with me. I want someone who gets the butterflies in their stomach when they hear from me. I want someone to feel about me the way I feel about them. I can't be disappointed when it doesn't happen, what I can be disappointed in are people who will just not admit that is not what they are looking for. Doc did lie to me. I know that for sure. There was no need to lie either. He did not owe me anything. Why not just be honest about it all?

This just proves again that I should always trust that inner voice that tells me when something is amiss. I knew he was lying. I knew I could not trust him. For once I listened to the voice and was not willing to ignore what I knew to be true. So while I don't fault anyone for not being ready to date more than casually, I do blame folks who do not have the decency to be honest with themselves and the people they are involved with about their feelings.

So good riddance to him! If he calls back, I will invoke my new goodbye line courtesy of Velvet: "I want you out of my life." I think that line is perfect. Concise and cuts to the core of how I feel.

More Panic!

2006-08-23T19:56:00.000Z

Well not really more panic. So I logged into sitemeter because today's traffic on this blog has been incredibly high compared to most days where no one reads anything and I was surprised to see that most of the referring URLs were coming from Wonkette.

Now Wonkette is one of my favorite sites and has been for years and I typically read it every day. Well somehow yesterday, I managed to miss that they linked back to my post below over the whole text message debacle. While I'm honored that the folks over at Wonkette actually read anything on my blog since I am such huge fan of their site (and especially the lovely Miss Cox), I'm dying that it was my dumped by a text post that inspired the mention and that the editors over there think I'm "in a funk."

Panic! On the Metro

2006-08-23T15:11:00.000Z

So I'm standing on the Metro today, jamming to Panic! At the Disco on my iPod and as is typical for me, reading the Express over someone's shoulder. I never think to grab it on my way into the metro station so rely on the kindness of others, or at least their lack of awareness that I'm standing behind them reading over their shoulder. So the gentleman who is unknowingly sharing his Express with me happens to be on the page called the Blog Log or whatever, where certain blogs are noted and quoted. There, in a rather large font, are very familiar words. At first I read them and am like, that's funny, I just wrote about this yesterday. Then I realize they are my words. Somehow the Express editors read my blog yesterday and decided me getting dumped via text messaging was worthy of the Express. I'm not sure how I feel about that for several reasons. I'm glad they thought people could relate, because really, isn't that the point of having a blog - to try to relate to folks? I was a bit mortified though at the thought that someone I know personally would read the Express (very likely) on their way to work and see that and recognize the story from one I had told to them and realize that this blog is my blog. I was also just generally embarrassed that now half the commuters relying on the Metro in DC now realize that I was dumped and in such a pathetic way. I actually watched several Metro riders reading that particular page, wondering to myself if they think this person must be a total loser.

Needless to say it was a long metro ride to work with my head spinning through the last 9 months of this blog thinking about all the other personal topics and stories I have posted and thinking, God, everyone is going to know what I've been thinking the last 9 months! Did I say anything bad about any of my friends? What if Doc sees this? He'll definitely recognize this as our situation! Panic isn't just playing on my iPod, it's racing through my body.

So I've spent the better part of an hour at work reading back through the last 9 months to see if there is anything I have written that I would not want people I know in my personal life to see? There are plenty of postings that, when written, I would never have wanted anyone to read. But time changes a lot and a lot of those postings do not mean what they did to me when I wrote them. I also realized how much I have changed in the last 9 months, particularly when it comes to the ex boyfriend. Since our relationship prompted me to start this blog to get my feelings out, it is odd to see now how insignificant he is in my life and how I feel today about the relationship he and I shared. I've written about the panic you feel when dealing with an ex. I don't feel that panic anymore.

In any case, I do not think there were too many embarrassing stories. There were definitely some things even my best of friends have never heard me discuss. You know what, I don't care anymore. If people I know read this blog and know its me, so be it. I enjoy having an outlet and have enjoyed the comments this blog has solicited from the folks who read it. It has helped me get through a difficult time and I have met some very cool people because of it.

That all said, I hope to God no one I know picked up the Express this morning!

Text Messaging: Not an Effective Breakup Tool

2006-08-22T18:39:00.000Z

"I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 'I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever.'" -Miranda

Well things with Doc have sadly come to an end. Why, you ask? As with most relationships, particularly failed ones, there was an improper balance between how we felt about one another. Or rather, what either of us wanted from the other. He's a busy man with a busy career and a busy travel schedule who seems to really be interested in someone to date casually. This, I'm not opposed to. But when it also seems that he is not that interested in me beyond having someone around, I draw the line. I liked him. He's a nice guy, a bit quirky and odd, but intelligent, handsome and great in the sack. I don't honestly know how he feels about me. And there is the issue. Because of this imbalance in feelings, things became strained and boiled over a bit this weekend.

Friday night we enjoyed a lovely dinner with some of my friends and then were going to go out. Doc says he doesn't feel well and goes home. Then Saturday he works all day, goes out with coworkers and I barely hear from him. Sunday he wants to hang out but has to do more work. I say I'm meeting my friends out for a nice cocktail and he says he will join up. After several hours, and more than several cocktails have passed, I get a message saying he's still working. I have had my suspicions throughout the last week or two that he uses work as an excuse when in fact, he might not actually be at work. Having had a few too many, I send a less than pleasant text message back to him. I realize that this is going nowhere. I want more, he doesn't or doesn't have time and doesn't want it enough to make time. I'm too damned young and too damn needy for all that. Next thing I know, I'm tongue wrestling with some kid who has been sweating me for weeks now. He wanted to rendezvous back at my place...I declined, knowing I needed to clear things off with the Doc before whoring myself out to the gay community again.

The following day, after calling out sick from work because I had the hangover from hell, I get a text message from Doc (getting a little tired of the texting yet?) asking if I was going to speak to him again? I responded of course, thinking to myself, long enough to end this because I'm not being strung along anymore. A few minutes later I get the following text:

"I thought a lot. We should b friends until i get through the next intense months i am going 2 b so busy and gone 75 percent of time. You can go on with ur life and not b waiting 4 me and feeling hurt. U r 2 cool 2 b sad."

I'm sorry? Did I just get dumped first? And via text message? Seriously? No really, seriously? I mean the phone was clearly in your hand...how much harder would it have been to just hit the button, call me and tell me this? I was dumped via text message. I'm too cool to be sad? No, I mean, I'm 2 cool 2 b sad. Um, whatev.

So I emailed him back prefacing that while I prefer not to have such conversations via electronic devices, I do feel emailing is a step above text messaging and I told him I agreed basically and that when he gets his shit together, call me.

Lesson here people, if you are going to dump someone, grow a set and do it in person. Or at the very very least, over the phone so an actual conversation can take place. Emailing, text messaging, post-it notes and/or Shannen Doherty are not effective tools for ending your relationship.

Snakes on a Plane

2006-08-22T15:54:00.000Z

Uh - a big hell no. I will never see this movie. Ever. I cannot think of anything I would rather not do more than go see this movie. I can't even watch the commercials for this movie. I immediately turn the channel. Or if I'm at the gym I cover my eyes while running on the treadmill. I am deathly afraid of snakes. I hate them. And I'm not a huge fan of flying. Put those two together and that equals a big hell no. If I think about snakes before bed, I have to strip down my bed and sleep without sheets because I know there are snakes under the covers with me. If I think about them while taking a shower, I have to not close my eyes when washing my hair or face because I know when I open them, there's going to be a snake in the shower with me. If I was on a plane and a bunch of snakes got loose and started attacking people, I would open the emergency door and jump the hell out. Without a parachute, soiled panties and all. F*** that.

Seriously - whoever is seeing this movie is nuts. Nuts.

Hell no.

DC is Expensive Y'all

2006-08-18T14:15:00.000Z

Since I will soon be looking for a new apartment to rent, the topic is fresh in my mind. Today I saw on Forbes that there are new rankings for the most expensive rental markets in the United States.

Washington, DC ranks 13th on the list, which seemed far lower than I would have guessed, but let's take a look at the markets that are actually more expensive than Washington, DC:

1. New York City - duh. 9.2 million people, 60% of which are renters, clearly there is going to be a larger range of prices than in most other cities. Demand is high, supply is limited, it's expensive as hell. On average $27.84 per square foot for a Class A apartment and $18.31 per square foot for Class B apartments. Class A would be your doormanned buildings in nice neighborhoods whereas Class B apartments are where the rest of us would live. There was no five year data to show if those numbers are increasing or decreasing, but I'd say its safe to assume they are going up.

2. San Francisco, CA - This did not surprise me. SF has always been expensive, both to buy a home or to rent an apartment. Class A apartments come in just slightly behind NYC at $27.17 and Class B at $19.91. So for those of us slumming it, it would be just as expensive in SF as in NYC. One thing to note is that in the past five years, the on average prices for rentals in the SF metro area has decreased nearly 20% for Class A units and 14% for Class B.

3. Los Angeles, CA - This one actually did surprise me because I have a lot of friends who live in LA who all pay far less in rent than I do or most people I know in DC. Class A units are $25.12 psf and Class B are $18.39 psf. That would mean the Class B apartments cost more in LA than in NYC! Seems odd to me. Especially since "LA" is a broad term used for a much larger geographic area than NYC. One thing to note is that pricing is increasing at 17% for A and 23% for B units.

4. Boston, MA - One of my favorite cities in the US, Boston comes in 4th with Class A units at $25.08 psf and B at $17.49 psf. There was a slight increase for B over the last five years, but both A and B unit pricing has remained relatively flat.

5. Honolulu, HI - I have nothing to say here. I'd prefer to stick with continental United States. Clearly HI is an expensive place to live. Limited land, limited supply, high-priced goods and services. It's a unique market for sure.

6. Northern NJ - Here is where I start to have my issue with the rankings. Clearly Northern NJ is NOT NYC, but I would still consider most of it suburban NYC. In any case, Class A units go for $23.35 psf and B for $15.80 psf. Little change over the last five years there as well.

7. Stamford - South CT - Again, this is another suburb of NYC. I know people who live there might argue that point, but whatever. It's a 'burb. An expensive one for sure. Class A - $23.22 psf. Class B - $14.30 psf.

8. Nassau-Suffolk, NY - Okay while I won't say this is a suburb, though it kind of is, I would point out that only 20% of the units there are even rentals. Class A - $22.40. Class B - $16.66. Pretty significant increases in rental pricing over the last five years, upwards of 15% in both categories of units.

9. Orange County, CA - While to me, a suburb of LA (though to me LA is basically a bunch of connected suburbs anyway), the OC comes in at 9th with Class A apartments at $21.71 psf and B at $17.94 psf, with large increases in rent over the last five years (15 - 20%). Maybe the popularity of shows like the OC or the Real Housewives of Orange County has made people flock there to live. Doubtful.

10. San Jose, CA - Part of the greater SF area if you ask me. Class A - $21.47. Class B - $17.51. Both classes have dropped nearly 30% in prices over the last five years.

11. San Diego, CA - Ahhh, the beautiful sunny city in the south of California. I knew it was expensive and was surprised it didn't outrank LA. Class A - $20.37. Class B - $14.96. Rental pricing has increased around 20% over the last five years.

12. Oakland - East Bay - Suburban San Francisco! Rental pricing has dropped nearly 20% over the last five years.

13. Washington, DC - The Nation's Capital, our home! DC ranks 13th with Class A units going at $18.85 psf and Class B at $15.15 psf. The Class B pricing would put DC higher than San Diego and some of the NY Suburbs for pricing for the same type apartment.

Here's my issue. The data for Washington, DC includes Northern VA, MD and even some parts of West Virginia! Okay so if DC pricing rankings includes three states and the District, clearly the pricing is going to be driven down. I would love to see how the data pulled would rank DC if we only included rental pricing in DC and the immediate surrounding counties (PG, Montgomery, Alexandria and Arlington). Or even just DC alone. It's not an even comparison to the other markets if you ask me, as they have rolled Northern Virginia and Suburban Maryland into the numbers. They didn't do that with NYC or San Francisco. Clearly you can never compare apples to apples when ranking the cities. But if we look at the data, essentially you have NYC (and surrounding areas), Los Angeles (and surrounding areas), San Diego, San Francisco, Boston and Honolulu ranking higher than DC, with DC ranking higher than San Diego for B Class units.

To put some perspective on this, I decided to calculate my psf for my rental unit. I am not sure if my apartment would be considered a Class A or Class B. Maybe for DC, it's a Class A. I'd say somewhere in between. At just over 1,000 square feet (a two-bedroom unit), my roommate and I pay roughly $30 per square feet per year. And I think on average our rent is comparable to some of the other NW neighborhoods in pricing. I know of many, many units that would calculate at a much higher per square footage price than that downtown. That said, I am paying as much as the on average Class A pricing in NYC, SF, Boston and LA!

So how do you other Downtown DC Dwellers compare?

If you're curious...Central New Jersey; Philadelphia, PA; San Bernadino, CA; Baltimore, MD; Miami, FL; Chicago, IL and West Palm Beach, FL round out the top twenty most expensive rental markets in the United States.

Jesus is Magic

2006-08-15T21:12:00.000Z

I don't have much witty or funny to say today so I'll let Sarah Silverman do it for you:

Hopefully she won't offend anyone!

Ready or Not

2006-08-14T14:35:00.000Z

Doc finally landed back in America this weekend. I was very excited about getting to see him again. I met him for dinner Friday night after going out with friends for drinks. He had been sick the last few days of his trip and still was not feeling that well. Dinner was nice and then we went back to his place. It was nice to wake up in the morning beside him and neither of us having to get up and run to work or what not. We have not had many opportunities to do that together. We spent the better part of Saturday together and then I went home to relax. I thought there was a chance we'd see each other Saturday night but he had still not been feeling well and so I decided to hang out with my friends instead and give him his alone time.

Yesterday was such a nice day so after some shopping with a friend we met up with a third friend, ate dinner then found a place to sit outside and knock back a few half-priced bottles of wine. Doc showed up, met my two friends and had a few margaritas. It was nice for some of my closer friends to finally meet him. I have no idea what they thought of him, but I'm sure I'll hear about it soon enough. After the friends checked out and went home, Doc and I were going to go see a movie. All day around him and even earlier this weekend, as nice as it was, something had me uneasy. I wasn't sure what it was.

I have found through my dating years that I have a very good intuition about things. If I have an instinct that something is wrong, I'm usually right about it. I sense and pick up on things that others might not even register. And normally I would say that is just me looking for something wrong, but usually I'm right about the feelings I get. After being so deceived by my ex because I refused to believe in my instincts and trust them, I am even more cautious now. I don't think I could handle going through what I went through again with the ex. So having sensed that something was wrong and not really being sure what it was, I decided to ask Doc what was going on between us. I recognize that his job is very important to him...his career is clearly the most important thing in his life and it seems it has been so in detriment to his personal life. I personally have no issues with someone who works a lot or travels a lot. I don't need a lot of together time to be happy. I just want to know that when we are together, that's where we both want to be and that when we're not together, we're not with other people. It takes very little to satisfy me. I just need to be comforted that I am cared about and that the person I care about wants to be with me, even when we're not together. I'm not really sure how the discussion went. I felt maybe it was too early to even discuss it. But I do think it's justifiable to want to know in basic terms how to define what is going on between us. Are we dating? Exclusively? Should I be worried that he's meeting other guys? It was an awkward conversation. He seemed to feel that I was questioning his dedication to his job versus his personal life, when in reality I was really just wanting to know if he was interested in me at all.

In the end, we parted ways and I went home feeling very uncertain and not sure if we were going to continue seeing each other. I sent him a text message apologizing for ruining our movie night, which has become a bit of a ritual on Sundays for us. I told him that I enjoy being with him and I do want to continue to see him. He ended up calling me and we chatted for a while. I felt better after that chat, but I'm still left with this void...I have no clue what he is thinking. I hate that. I'm not asking him to marry me, I just want to know where he stands in regards to us dating. Where does he see or want this to go? I don't want to vest a lot of time and energy into someone who isn't really interested in something meaningful. I wasted two years of my life on someone who didn't really see a future with me. I won't do it again. I also do not want to get hurt by falling for someone who will never feel that way about me.

So all in all I am confused. I want to see him again for sure, but I think I need to slow things down and proceed with a lot more caution than we've used the last few weeks. I just hate the not knowing part.

Red Alert

2006-08-10T14:56:00.000Z

So everyone by now knows of the terrorist plot to blow up planes from the UK to the US that was foiled this morning. Well what I did not know upon hearing this was that Doc, who was traveling abroad for work, was actually getting ready to board a plane from London to DC. The plane was obviously grounded, every passenger removed and all of their belongings with it. He sent several text messages to me this morning about being caught up in security, not understanding what was going on and how they took everything but his phone and passport. Now he is at a hotel after being at the airport for like nine hours. He believes one of his flights may have been one of the ones targeted because of the way they took everything and kept them tied up for so long with security issues. Obviously since he's not a terrorist, he was not detained or anything. Unfortunately now with limited flights heading our way and since his was canceled altogether rather than just postponed, he's stranded for the time being. Though I could argue that there are worse places than London to be stranded. I'd be making the most out of a bad situation and running all over the city.

Damn terrorists. I finally meet a man and they are trying to blow his ass up. I hope they get swift kicks in the balls from Scotland Yard.

Happy Birthday Eric Bana!

2006-08-09T16:48:00.000Z

Happy Birthday to one of my top 3:

Eric Bana turns 38 years old today!

A Rant on the District of Communism

2006-08-09T04:17:00.000Z

Over at Gallery Place Living, there is a topic on which I am compelled to comment. I have done so several times on the thread over there, but felt the need to actually make a thread of my own regarding the issue, which isn't particular to the Gallery Place area, but is one that to me is a plague in this city.

In Chinatown, there is a liquor store, the Chinese Market on the corner of 6th and H Street, NW. This liquor store has been around for a very long time and is a local, individually owned business in the Chinatown area. Clearly the gentrification of this neighborhood has meant the end of many of these establishments. This liquor store, like many in the city, entices a type of customer that many people living in a higher end, "up and coming" area of town might prefer to avoid. This particular liquor store (though I would argue the other two in the area have the same issue) often has a great deal of people who loiter, drink on the sidewalk in front of the store, urinate in public, etc. etc. All the nasty trashy things we all hate in DC.

The liquor license for Chinese Market is up for renewal and the neighborhood commission is up in arms, trying to fight the renewal of the liquor license for various reasons. Some want to merely bring the owners of Chinese Market to talk about the loitering of customers and the general disdain for the people who patronize the store. Many would love to just have the license revoked, effectively closing Chinese Market's doors. It is a liquor store after all...no liquor license, no liquor store. On the face of things, I can understand the neighbors using this renewal process to air their grievances and to make the owners aware of concerns.

My argument against this entire process is that it ignores the fact that it is no more Chinese Market's responsibility to monitor and control what goes on outside of its front door and on the corner than it is mine or any other neighbor. We have laws and people to enforce the laws that should take care of those issues. So rather than demand that the DC government do its job and enforce existing laws against loitering, public drunkeness and urination, we'd rather close down a local business. Some argue that the Chinese Market has some social obligation to its neighbors to stop serving individual liquor items so that people won't sit outside with a forty of malt liquor and get wasted. I argue that we have no right to tell a store what to sell, so long as they are within the bounds of the law. They own that property...as long as they pay taxes, sell to those who they should sell to, obey the law...who has a right to tell them anything else? Especially neighbors with absolutely no personal interest in the business...people who would argue against a liquor license because they are inconvenienced by the clientele. Ridiculous. To me, this entire argument absolutely violates free market principles, capitalism and freedom in general. My rights as a neighbor are not being violated by Chinese Market. Why should I have any say in how they conduct business so long as my rights are not violated by their business?? What happens on the street outside the store is of no more concern to them than the business across the street or next door. The street is public, therefore is the concern of the public. If you see a drunk passed out on the sidewalk or someone urinating on a building or are harrassed as you walk by, CALL THE POLICE. It's their job and their responsibility, not Chinese Market. If you don't like the business doing business there, buy it and close it down. Until then, shut up.

This thought process is the same that many neighborhoods have used to withhold liquor licenses to bars in Dupont (and certainly other neighborhoods). They argue people leaving the bar are loud and disturbing. How is that the bar's problem? I'm on a public street and if I am drunk or loud, what the hell does that have to do with the bar I just left? Once I leave that bar, their responsibility for my behavior has ended in my opinion. If I'm loud, call the cops. You moved into the neighborhood voluntarily. You probably knew there was a bar there. If you didn't do your homework, hey, that's your issue.

What is up with these people who move into DC and expect all these things and when they don't like something, their answer is to ignore a person or business' rights and shut them down to suit their own lifestyle? If you want peace and quiet, I suggest you move to Fairfax. I hear in Virginia you don't have to deal with all those dirty destitute commoners who like a nice forty of Thunderbird in the evening...or those pesky gays contributing valuable tax dollars to our city, but who are loud when they are attending the sidewalk sale outside of Cobalt. Have fun! I blame the way the city is governed rather than its residents...ultimately the DC ABC commissioners make the determination, so hopefully they will see that personal preferences should not supercede the rights of businesses in this city. Having lived here a few years though, I have my doubts logic will prevail.

Okay, sorry, had to rant. This city is so ridiculous sometimes!

BB7 Bloggin'

2006-08-09T03:28:00.000Z

So tonight was the veto competition that Janelle needed to win in order to stay in this game. She was on the block thanks to that tramp Danielle.

And win she did!

Screw you Danielle! And James!

I only pray that Janelle wises up to who in the house is on her side and who is aligned against her.

And why can't people read through Will? I don't get it. Did they not watch BB1? And how did no one see James go get to talk to Sarah and know that he didn't go for all the points he could get in the competition? And the fact Danielle's alliance totally threw her under the bus and she was in solitary confinement for an entire day...oh my, I can't even stop laughing...don't f*** with Janelle people.

I'm bummed that Kaysar is on the block now, but incredibly expected. Finally someone in the house is actually doing something that makes sense. For four weeks, BB6 had the chance to evict Will or Mike and they passed EVERY SINGLE WEEK and instead got rid of BB5. STUPID. As much as I am pulling for BB6, Danielle stuck to the game plan she had and wasn't swayed by Mike and Will. She's incredibly smart, but she'll be the first one out if BB6 wins HOH again, when in reality anyone from BB6 who wins HOH needs to be pushing to get Mike or Will out of the house. You break the two of them up and they are done. I'm just bummed that Janelle has so many enemies now. James must go home this week and Howie, Kaysar or Janelle need to win HOH.

It's Always Sunny on Thursday Night

2006-08-04T03:10:00.000Z

My new favorite show = It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

This show airs on FX on Thursday evenings at 10pm. It is currently in its second season and if you watch one episode, you too will be hooked. It's politically incorrect, crude, disgusting and so on. Oh and it has cute men. I love it.

If you become hooked, as I predict you will, you can go to iTunes and download any of the previous episodes. It's genius...get into it.

BB7 Bloggin'

2006-08-02T01:12:00.000Z

I have no words. I'm sitting here watching this and I am so absolutely irate at Janelle right now. Ever since she was on the show last season I have always cheered her on. I love her. But what she did tonight was S-T-U-P-I-D. How in the world does she now think that putting up Diane rather than Will is is good for her??? I know she thought that Chilltown would help her out, but girl, now YOUR alliance and the floaters all hate you. So now since you cannot play for HOH next week, only two people can play and make sure you stay safe, assuming you can even trust them in the first place. I for one think Will and Boogie Mike will slit your throat at their earliest convenience. You've proven you're strong in the competitions. Sooner or later, if they are still around, they will get rid of you. Howie, Kaysar and James were willing to stick with you through the end. So now you have a 1 in 4 chance of being safe from nomination next week. If anyone other than Will and Mike Boogie in the house wins HOH, you're going up on the block. Howie, Kaysar and possibly Marcellas might spare you and still just go after Will and Mike, but no one else will. And I wouldn't be surprised if Howie and Kaysar would nominate you just to get you away from their alliance.

Janelle, I am saddened beyond words. Diane MAY have come after you, but now if she survives or Erica survives, they are gunning for you for sure. And only one can go home. You've shown Erica that you lied when you said she was a pawn. Clearly you were working with Chill Town. Danielle and James have now turned against you. You're quickly becoming Public Enemy #1. I thought you were smarter than this. There are just too many people still in the house to let yourself become such a target. Even if you survive, I'm not sure I even want you to win anymore. I cannot believe you don't see through Will and Mike Boogie. You're making baby Jesus cry.

MTV to air Marriage Equality ads

2006-08-02T00:09:00.000Z

Hat tip to the Republic of T for this! It appears as the 2006 Election Day approaches, MTV's Choose or Lose campaign is focusing on what the Republicans think is the clearly the most important issue on the ballot this year: gay marriage. Except, unlike the Republicans, Choose or Lose is letting voters know that gay marriage threatens no one. Some of the ads are a bit risque if you ask me, but they do their job and get the point across. The MTV generation, of which I am a part, is undoubtedly going to be a political force that Republicans and Democrats alike must face and consider. Especially since now so many members of that generation are able to vote.

Happy Birthday MTV! 25 years young and still shaking things up!

Go here to see the ads!

Bumble and Bumble

2006-08-01T20:56:00.000Z

Got my hairs did today and bought the Bumble and Bumble Sumotech moulding compound for hair. It's awesome. I'm also trying something new and interesting with my hair, which I never do. It's only in the prelim stages so we shall see.

In any case, I love the Bumble and Bumble line.

Mariah is crazy!

2006-08-01T14:43:00.000Z

I had heard about this video a long time ago and never had seen it until I found it on Youtube. Youtube is the best website. If you haven't seen it, this is just confirmation of what we always knew...Mariah is battier than hell.

Yes, I know this is five years old. But it is still hilarious.

Kickball: The Sequel

2006-08-01T14:15:00.000Z

I just signed up to play in the Dupont Division for WAKA this fall. Sadly our pre-season party is less than a week away. I felt like I just finished the Spring season yesterday and now the fall one is picking up already. I was kind of hoping it wouldn't start until later since it's blazing hot outside, but I'm excited about more boys in shorts and flip cup. And this time our bar is one of my favorites in the city and I'm playing with a fun coworker, so I'm excited.

If you're not down with the WAKA, get into it. And feel free to register to play on my team. Email for details. Games are Monday evenings.

SATC

2006-08-01T03:55:00.000Z

My favorite episode of Sex and the City was on tonight. It's the one where Charlotte's dog, Elizabeth Taylor, has just won the blue ribbon in a dog show and the following day, Charlotte takes her to the dog park. There, she is well, um, the life of the party at the dog park.

The next scene is the girls at a bar and Miranda says, "Elizabeth Taylor got gang banged in the park?"

Samantha responds, "Oh god, that's so 80s."

I love it.

The Devil Wears Prada

2006-07-31T16:24:00.000Z

Last night Doc and I went to see the Devil Wears Prada. It was good. It was funny. It was also predictable and mindless. That was exactly what I wanted and needed on a Sunday. Meryl Streep is hilarious. That Hathaway chick was good, but there is still something about her that irks me. I haven't figured it out yet. It might be the ginormous teeth. I did remark that movies like that make me wish I was a chick so I could run around obsessed about clothes. Wait, I'm a gay man, I kind of do that already. I'm not as much of a clothes whore as some gays I know. I never think anything looks good on me so I don't spend a fortune. I am a bit polo-obsessed. I buy the same Lacoste polos over and over in the same colors because I hate it when they fade. But all in all, I'm boring. BORING. Girls have more fun, and undoubtedly spend more money on their clothes. Undoubtedly my favorite part of the movie is how Meryl's character walks into the office every day and slams her coat and purse down on her assistant's desk and marches into her office. I would kill to have a job where I can march my stiletto wearing ass in and slam my couture on the desk and demand my scolding hot Starbucks. Actually I do that now, only no one pays any attention to me and I have to go get my own Starbucks.

After the movie (where yes, we did hold hands and snuggle again), we went to Rosa Mexicano for dinner. All in all, it was okay. I think they have nothing on Lauriol Plaza, but it wasn't bad. The one thing that really bothered me is that because the restaurant is adjacent to Verizon Center, you get some "salt of the earth" folks in what is a fantastic space. I'd honestly have pictured a dressier crowd, but you had your inevitable hockey jersey Manassas residents out for what must be to them a very expensive night out. Hell, at $12 per margarita, it was expensive even for me. But of course I didn't pay. :)

After dinner, I beat him over the head and dragged him into my den of iniquity. I am seriously in desperate like with this guy. He's leaving in a few days and will be gone for two weeks for work. It is so strange that I feel so close to someone I honestly have only known for such a short period of time. Each time I see him, I like him more. I keep waiting for that honeymoon period of excitement to wear off. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. I am trying my very best to proceed with caution and not get hurt again, telling myself over and over to relax and enjoy the ride.

Hi, I'm the ex and I'm in 8th grade.

2006-07-30T19:27:00.000Z

Saturday evening, I went out with friends (the Doc had friends in town so I was on my own) and we hit our local watering hole. About 7 cocktails in, I was feeling great. It's nice to have a "friend" because when you go out, your whole demeanor changes. You feel more relaxed. I wasn't scanning the room for the cute boys who would inevitably ignore me. I was enjoying the company of my friends and for once having a good time out.

Until...

I saw him walking by with that friend I've seen him with several times. The ex walked behind me where I was standing, went about another 20 feet and stopped with this friend. My friends told me to just turn around and not even give him the time of day. Before I could do that, the guy leans in and kisses the ex and they both then turn and look right at me. I just rolled my eyes and turned around. My friends however were absolutely livid. They were in shock that someone could be so juvenile. I honestly didn't know what to say. I wasn't hurt. I wasn't really angry. I was more embarrassed that I had ever cared about someone who could be so stupid. The only solace I could take in the whole situation is the fact the friend, who I guess is more than a friend, is busted. So if he thinks making out with fug in the bar is going to get under my skin, he's incorrect. After all, he was cheating on me for months with fug and busted...does he think kissing it in front of me is going to have a bigger impact? The only impact it has is to make me wonder if I'm in fact busted and ugly since he seems to have a thing for it. Nah, he's just an asshole.

Tonight I will be having a nice movie date with Doc. Nothing like a good looking, brilliant older man to make you smile and realize how great life can be.

Friday Finally

2006-07-28T19:35:00.000Z

Thank God it's Friday people. I am so done. This week has been long, hot and its time for relaxation and cocktails. I'll be leaving this place not one minute past closing time and going home to nap and sit in the air conditioning. I'm practically giddy thinking about it.

So I've seen Doc the last two nights. He was out of town briefly and upon returning, he dropped by to see me and we watching some tv and cuddled on the couch. Then last night I went over to his place and stayed the night. Today we had lunch together. He was running errands around town and stopped by to take me out to lunch. *sigh* It is odd to think we've only known each other a short time. I've told most of my friends about him, though not in any great detail. I am definitely waiting for them to meet him. I want to be sure this will last more than a month before getting anyone else involved.

On a side note, I hate the Pussycat Dolls. I think they look like trashy transvestites that lip sync badly. The only redeemable one is the sort of asian looking one that leads the group. This is probably why you never actually see close ups of the other girls. In any case, Dontcha Wish Your Girlfriend is the worst and most overplayed song I have ever heard. I didn't like it from the first moment I heard it. That all said, I do really like their new single Buttons with Snoop Dogg. I'm ashamed of this, but I do play it walking home and find myself strutting like a whore on 17th Street. Oh how I hate you PCD for making me like you. Bitches.

So rumor has it that Tori gets squat from Aaron Spelling's estate. Her slut mom who was totally banging the help is clearly cutting her off. While I think Tori is a hag and a terrible actress, no one deserves to have their slutbag mom steal away the money they clearly deserve for being lucky enough to be born into the Spelling family fortune. Screw you Candy Spelling. Candy? I mean really, what trailer park did Aaron pick you out of?

Okay it's nearly quitting time. Everyone have a safe and fabulous weekend filled with air conditioning and cocktails.

Lance Bass Gay? Big Shocker

2006-07-26T15:59:00.000Z

*note sarcasm*

Is this shocking to anyone? The only thing shocking to me is that he's dating starfucker Reichen Lechwhatever. And for whatever reason is good friends with Christina Applegate. And that he's looking like Janice Dickinson lately. Dude, lay off the botox.

Just Say No to Crocs

2006-07-25T19:13:00.000Z

I'm not sure where this "trend" came from or why people think it is fashionable, but Crocs are by far the worst footwear a person can choose to sport. My mom owns a pair, and if that isn't reason enough for everyone to stop wearing them, the fact that they are absolutely, completely fugly should be. My mother is also diabetic and they make Crocs that are comfortable for those who suffer from neuropathy of the feet. So she has an excuse. I'm not sure I think diabetes is enough reason to wear these things, but I'll let her slide, she is my mother after all.

However, if you are not my mother, you should not ever be seen wearing these shoes. Okay fine, if you have a pool or you're going to a beach, I can maybe see the draw these shoes have. However, you can just buy flip flops or something. Crocs are just simply too ugly for public.

A coworker just received a pair in the mail. In green. Bright green. I nearly lost my shit when I saw her walk by and she waved them at me, smiling her sadistic smile, taunting me with ugly footwear. She knows I loathe Crocs and she knows how to push my buttons.

Please...people. Just say no to Crocs. There are alternative forms of footwear that don't violate decency laws or nauseate those of us who are forced to see these clunky, fugly shoes on your feet. Isn't the world already going through enough? Think of the war torn countries in the Middle East. Do you really want to add to that misery by wearing your Crocs in public? Or ever? I didn't think so.

Oh and don't try burning them, it's best to just bury them in the backyard. I hear they are chemically coated to keep your feet from getting funky (is that not reason enough to not wear these shoes) and I would hate for someone to burn their neighborhood down trying to destroy the abomination that is the Croc.

Thank you for listening!