About Carrie Broadshoulders
So I guess to start this off, I should give a little detail about who I am and why I'm inspired to bitch and moan online about how much being single sucks.
First of all, I'm an openly gay man. But don't let that stop you ladies from reading because frankly all men are shitheads and trust, gay men go through the same bullshit drama as women do. And we don't have PMS to blame it on!
I am twenty-er-something years old and live in the biggest boring city in the US - Washington, DC. Bland congressional staffers with their JoS. A Banks navy blue pin striped suits and uptight former "smart girls" (aka: the ugly chicks from high school) who are looking to blow smoke up some politician's ass while their boyfriend (probably a leftover from college) is busy getting drunk in Adams Morgan and feeling up on the cute girl who sits three cubes down at work. And those are just the straights.
I have lived in this dire city for over six years now...why? Because I'm lazy. That and I do have a great group of friends who have been the one thing keeping me from moving far far away for quite a while now. Every girl needs her support group...and booze. Oh and it's important to note that when I use the feminine, that does not necessarily indicate the person or persons being referenced are actually of the female gender...they could just be sistahs or marys or nancys or whatever else you want to call a boy with lace in his drawers.
For work, I work in an office environment and am one of the few bitches in this city that does not actually work for the government. Don't get me wrong, there's something to be said for paper pushers who make more money than I do. I have debated a long time about switching to a job where I can diddle on the internet all day on the taxpayers coin. But again, I'm lazy. So for the time I've been in DC I have managed to keep a job at this one particular corporation pushing papers and diddling on the internet. In any case, work is secondary to why we're here today. We're here because of sex. Or no sex, as the case may be for many of us.
That brings me to the relationship status. SINGLE. :( Ugh, what a completely shit word. I mean the fact that it starts S-I-N tells you that it can't be good. Don't get me wrong, for quite a while, I rather enjoyed the single life. Anonymous sex, drunken orgies, fucking in the bathroom at the local gay dive....okay so I never did any of that...well not all of that...but anyway, point is, being single has its advantages. But when you have been dumped, as I have, you have a right to walk around for at least half of the time you were actually in that relationship and BITCH and MOAN all you want about how much it sucks to be single. I have 11 months or so to go!
I'll talk more about the ex and all of that later...the xanax is kicking in and I've got to go look good for a holiday party.
First of all, I'm an openly gay man. But don't let that stop you ladies from reading because frankly all men are shitheads and trust, gay men go through the same bullshit drama as women do. And we don't have PMS to blame it on!
I am twenty-er-something years old and live in the biggest boring city in the US - Washington, DC. Bland congressional staffers with their JoS. A Banks navy blue pin striped suits and uptight former "smart girls" (aka: the ugly chicks from high school) who are looking to blow smoke up some politician's ass while their boyfriend (probably a leftover from college) is busy getting drunk in Adams Morgan and feeling up on the cute girl who sits three cubes down at work. And those are just the straights.
I have lived in this dire city for over six years now...why? Because I'm lazy. That and I do have a great group of friends who have been the one thing keeping me from moving far far away for quite a while now. Every girl needs her support group...and booze. Oh and it's important to note that when I use the feminine, that does not necessarily indicate the person or persons being referenced are actually of the female gender...they could just be sistahs or marys or nancys or whatever else you want to call a boy with lace in his drawers.
For work, I work in an office environment and am one of the few bitches in this city that does not actually work for the government. Don't get me wrong, there's something to be said for paper pushers who make more money than I do. I have debated a long time about switching to a job where I can diddle on the internet all day on the taxpayers coin. But again, I'm lazy. So for the time I've been in DC I have managed to keep a job at this one particular corporation pushing papers and diddling on the internet. In any case, work is secondary to why we're here today. We're here because of sex. Or no sex, as the case may be for many of us.
That brings me to the relationship status. SINGLE. :( Ugh, what a completely shit word. I mean the fact that it starts S-I-N tells you that it can't be good. Don't get me wrong, for quite a while, I rather enjoyed the single life. Anonymous sex, drunken orgies, fucking in the bathroom at the local gay dive....okay so I never did any of that...well not all of that...but anyway, point is, being single has its advantages. But when you have been dumped, as I have, you have a right to walk around for at least half of the time you were actually in that relationship and BITCH and MOAN all you want about how much it sucks to be single. I have 11 months or so to go!
I'll talk more about the ex and all of that later...the xanax is kicking in and I've got to go look good for a holiday party.
posted by Carrie Broadshoulders at Monday, December 12, 2005
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