AI Blogging - Again
I promise a real post later but for now:
Mandisa - She trying to be my new favorite or something. Aretha better watch her fat ass b/c here comes Mandisa.
Bucky - Um, go back to North Cackalacky PLEASE.
Paris - Perfect song for her. Frankly I don't like her - she's about as interesting as watching grass grow, but that was a really good song for her. I do however need everyone in that audience to sit down. All she says is thank you. That's it.
*Ryan Seacrest is a giant girl*
Chris - Liked the version but for some reason, he just doesn't interest me. However it was nice to hear Paula slur when she was praising him. She's obviously back on the meds. Love it. She said there are certain people who make her anticipate what they are going to sing. Yeah, they are called the boys. You like that dick Paula...don't you lie.
Katharine: Yeah sorry honey but if they didn't flash your name at the bottom of the screen, I'd have no clue what it was. Ew, Barry has obviously had some work done. I mean I guess duh, but it's really weird. I absolutely LOVE Ella Fitzgerald so was glad to hear someone do one of her songs. Katharine was okay. I don't think she's the strongest but I think she did a good job. At least I'll remember her name now.
Taylor: I like him. But not my favorite. I think he's going to last though...he seems like he's got a lot of fans out there. His voice reminds me of the guy who sang in that movie Eddie and the Cruisers. And that is really sad that I pulled that movie right out of my ass, but he does sound like that guy. In any case, the song is boring but he did a good job.
Uh, did I just see the Firestone guy who was on the Bachelor in the audience? Weird. He's hot. Got news.
Simon to Paula: You are talking rubbish! Love it. It's called Oxycotin Simon, she can't help it. No he did not just shhh her! LOVE IT.
Lisa: So far not liking this at all. 50s genre music doesn't seem challenging but she's just not doing very well. And considering she was in the bottom 3 last week, I think she may be in the bottom 3 again this week. I just don't think this song demonstrated her talent. That said, she bores me almost as much as Paris so if she goes, so be it. Even the audience doesn't seem that enthralled by it. Simon was totally nice to her though. He should have been much more harsh. It wasn't okay Simon, you know it.
*Ryan Seacrest says, "he's 21?" in response to Lisa's birthday shoutout to her brother and then says, "perfect". Mmmmhmmm...perfect for you to get up in his booty - we know, you ain't fooling us Ryan Seacrest*
Kevin: Okay you were cute in the auditions and cute in Hollywood but the cuteness has seriously worn off. I cannot believe you weren't in the bottom 3 last week. I mean, seriously. Ugh. I liked you for two seconds. It's time for people to STOP voting for this one. How Clay Gayken of you to sit on the end of the stage and sing to "paula" and by "paula" I mean Constantine, because you know that is who you're singing to. For someone who is mediocre, you really have to pick a song that has a lot of high big notes, otherwise you're just boring. Let me say, however, that I did like him better than Bucky Fuckington and Lisa whoever. Oh no, Jasmine Trias was not just fake applauding because she knew the camera was on her. And bitch, we get it, you're from Hawaii - take that flower out your hair! Oh yeah, unbutton that top button Kevin. I'm surprised Ryan Seacrest didn't do that for you when you walked over there.
Oh yes - Elliott is next. He's my favorite.
Elliott: Okay hate the tie. Take that freaking tie off. I get it, it's the 50s. But still, the tie is awful. Man, I'm sorry, but Barry's face is freaky. It's like plastic or something. Elliott is great when you don't watch him sing. That mouth is a bit much. But as much as I love him, this song is B-O-R-I-N-G. Paula, put your fucking hands down you cracked out has been. Damn. We know you want to teach him tonight, but that's just inappropriate. I bet you have goosebumps you dirty old woman. Okay so yeah, Elliott should make it through another week.
Okay so excited that Kellie is doing Patsy Cline. Love Patsy and love Kellie. She better work out this song, it's one of my favorites.
Kellie: Work it out bitch. Love the shirt. Stop pretending to walk though. She needs to not move. Stop moving. Just sing. Yes ma'am. I do love her - got news. I think had she not tried to so hard to work the audience, she'd have blown this right out that auditorium. But in any case, she still did pretty good. She's still one of my favorites. Well at least she knew what ballsy meant - that could have gotten real funny if she didn't. I love how Ryan Seacrest treats her like a tard. Did you learn anything new? NO MA'AM. Okay Ryan, that was funny. Yes Kellie, Ryan spotted the pickle. Big surprise.
Ace: Singing In the Still of the Night. Okay to me if you can remotely sing, this is an easy song to sing. So we'll see. I'm not expecting much. He's always so serious and boring. He's hot though so well, he still needs to stick me.
Yeah - he's so boring. He always seems so nervous. I mean I can totally fall in love staring into those eyes, but he really seems uncomfortable. Then again, most men do when they see me staring into their eyes longingly. Whoa - work that high note you hot mofo like you will be working this booty later. Well okay work this booty better than you worked that high note. Smile you sexy bitch. Smile. Where the fuck is my phone. What's his number? I need him here next week to have tv sex with me. Paula can barely talk her liner is so soaked. I hate how Simon always gets booed when he is just telling the truth. Ryan says, "You don't want that feeling again do you?" What feeling is that Ryan...the feeling of your hand gripping Ace's tight ass? No, he doesn't want that feeling again so back up bitch.
Okay so for me the top 3 TONIGHT: Mandisa, Paris (yeah I loathe her but the song choice was perfect for her) and Kellie Pickler.
My favorites so far: Mandisa, Kellie and Elliott.
Who I think will go home: Lisa Tucker.
Who needs to stick me: Ace Young.
Mandisa - She trying to be my new favorite or something. Aretha better watch her fat ass b/c here comes Mandisa.
Bucky - Um, go back to North Cackalacky PLEASE.
Paris - Perfect song for her. Frankly I don't like her - she's about as interesting as watching grass grow, but that was a really good song for her. I do however need everyone in that audience to sit down. All she says is thank you. That's it.
*Ryan Seacrest is a giant girl*
Chris - Liked the version but for some reason, he just doesn't interest me. However it was nice to hear Paula slur when she was praising him. She's obviously back on the meds. Love it. She said there are certain people who make her anticipate what they are going to sing. Yeah, they are called the boys. You like that dick Paula...don't you lie.
Katharine: Yeah sorry honey but if they didn't flash your name at the bottom of the screen, I'd have no clue what it was. Ew, Barry has obviously had some work done. I mean I guess duh, but it's really weird. I absolutely LOVE Ella Fitzgerald so was glad to hear someone do one of her songs. Katharine was okay. I don't think she's the strongest but I think she did a good job. At least I'll remember her name now.
Taylor: I like him. But not my favorite. I think he's going to last though...he seems like he's got a lot of fans out there. His voice reminds me of the guy who sang in that movie Eddie and the Cruisers. And that is really sad that I pulled that movie right out of my ass, but he does sound like that guy. In any case, the song is boring but he did a good job.
Uh, did I just see the Firestone guy who was on the Bachelor in the audience? Weird. He's hot. Got news.
Simon to Paula: You are talking rubbish! Love it. It's called Oxycotin Simon, she can't help it. No he did not just shhh her! LOVE IT.
Lisa: So far not liking this at all. 50s genre music doesn't seem challenging but she's just not doing very well. And considering she was in the bottom 3 last week, I think she may be in the bottom 3 again this week. I just don't think this song demonstrated her talent. That said, she bores me almost as much as Paris so if she goes, so be it. Even the audience doesn't seem that enthralled by it. Simon was totally nice to her though. He should have been much more harsh. It wasn't okay Simon, you know it.
*Ryan Seacrest says, "he's 21?" in response to Lisa's birthday shoutout to her brother and then says, "perfect". Mmmmhmmm...perfect for you to get up in his booty - we know, you ain't fooling us Ryan Seacrest*
Kevin: Okay you were cute in the auditions and cute in Hollywood but the cuteness has seriously worn off. I cannot believe you weren't in the bottom 3 last week. I mean, seriously. Ugh. I liked you for two seconds. It's time for people to STOP voting for this one. How Clay Gayken of you to sit on the end of the stage and sing to "paula" and by "paula" I mean Constantine, because you know that is who you're singing to. For someone who is mediocre, you really have to pick a song that has a lot of high big notes, otherwise you're just boring. Let me say, however, that I did like him better than Bucky Fuckington and Lisa whoever. Oh no, Jasmine Trias was not just fake applauding because she knew the camera was on her. And bitch, we get it, you're from Hawaii - take that flower out your hair! Oh yeah, unbutton that top button Kevin. I'm surprised Ryan Seacrest didn't do that for you when you walked over there.
Oh yes - Elliott is next. He's my favorite.
Elliott: Okay hate the tie. Take that freaking tie off. I get it, it's the 50s. But still, the tie is awful. Man, I'm sorry, but Barry's face is freaky. It's like plastic or something. Elliott is great when you don't watch him sing. That mouth is a bit much. But as much as I love him, this song is B-O-R-I-N-G. Paula, put your fucking hands down you cracked out has been. Damn. We know you want to teach him tonight, but that's just inappropriate. I bet you have goosebumps you dirty old woman. Okay so yeah, Elliott should make it through another week.
Okay so excited that Kellie is doing Patsy Cline. Love Patsy and love Kellie. She better work out this song, it's one of my favorites.
Kellie: Work it out bitch. Love the shirt. Stop pretending to walk though. She needs to not move. Stop moving. Just sing. Yes ma'am. I do love her - got news. I think had she not tried to so hard to work the audience, she'd have blown this right out that auditorium. But in any case, she still did pretty good. She's still one of my favorites. Well at least she knew what ballsy meant - that could have gotten real funny if she didn't. I love how Ryan Seacrest treats her like a tard. Did you learn anything new? NO MA'AM. Okay Ryan, that was funny. Yes Kellie, Ryan spotted the pickle. Big surprise.
Ace: Singing In the Still of the Night. Okay to me if you can remotely sing, this is an easy song to sing. So we'll see. I'm not expecting much. He's always so serious and boring. He's hot though so well, he still needs to stick me.
Yeah - he's so boring. He always seems so nervous. I mean I can totally fall in love staring into those eyes, but he really seems uncomfortable. Then again, most men do when they see me staring into their eyes longingly. Whoa - work that high note you hot mofo like you will be working this booty later. Well okay work this booty better than you worked that high note. Smile you sexy bitch. Smile. Where the fuck is my phone. What's his number? I need him here next week to have tv sex with me. Paula can barely talk her liner is so soaked. I hate how Simon always gets booed when he is just telling the truth. Ryan says, "You don't want that feeling again do you?" What feeling is that Ryan...the feeling of your hand gripping Ace's tight ass? No, he doesn't want that feeling again so back up bitch.
Okay so for me the top 3 TONIGHT: Mandisa, Paris (yeah I loathe her but the song choice was perfect for her) and Kellie Pickler.
My favorites so far: Mandisa, Kellie and Elliott.
Who I think will go home: Lisa Tucker.
Who needs to stick me: Ace Young.
posted by Carrie Broadshoulders at Wednesday, March 22, 2006
2 Comments:
you're gonna have to have my sloppy seconds 'cause i get ace first. those rosy cheeks! *swoon*
i hate katharine mcphee and i make no apologies about it. she also makes ill-advised fashion choices and her hair is aight.
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