Text Messaging: Not an Effective Breakup Tool

"I once was broken up with by a guy's doorman. 'I'm sorry Ms. Hobbes, Jonathan won't be coming down. Ever.'" -Miranda

Well things with Doc have sadly come to an end. Why, you ask? As with most relationships, particularly failed ones, there was an improper balance between how we felt about one another. Or rather, what either of us wanted from the other. He's a busy man with a busy career and a busy travel schedule who seems to really be interested in someone to date casually. This, I'm not opposed to. But when it also seems that he is not that interested in me beyond having someone around, I draw the line. I liked him. He's a nice guy, a bit quirky and odd, but intelligent, handsome and great in the sack. I don't honestly know how he feels about me. And there is the issue. Because of this imbalance in feelings, things became strained and boiled over a bit this weekend.

Friday night we enjoyed a lovely dinner with some of my friends and then were going to go out. Doc says he doesn't feel well and goes home. Then Saturday he works all day, goes out with coworkers and I barely hear from him. Sunday he wants to hang out but has to do more work. I say I'm meeting my friends out for a nice cocktail and he says he will join up. After several hours, and more than several cocktails have passed, I get a message saying he's still working. I have had my suspicions throughout the last week or two that he uses work as an excuse when in fact, he might not actually be at work. Having had a few too many, I send a less than pleasant text message back to him. I realize that this is going nowhere. I want more, he doesn't or doesn't have time and doesn't want it enough to make time. I'm too damned young and too damn needy for all that. Next thing I know, I'm tongue wrestling with some kid who has been sweating me for weeks now. He wanted to rendezvous back at my place...I declined, knowing I needed to clear things off with the Doc before whoring myself out to the gay community again.

The following day, after calling out sick from work because I had the hangover from hell, I get a text message from Doc (getting a little tired of the texting yet?) asking if I was going to speak to him again? I responded of course, thinking to myself, long enough to end this because I'm not being strung along anymore. A few minutes later I get the following text:

"I thought a lot. We should b friends until i get through the next intense months i am going 2 b so busy and gone 75 percent of time. You can go on with ur life and not b waiting 4 me and feeling hurt. U r 2 cool 2 b sad."

I'm sorry? Did I just get dumped first? And via text message? Seriously? No really, seriously? I mean the phone was clearly in your hand...how much harder would it have been to just hit the button, call me and tell me this? I was dumped via text message. I'm too cool to be sad? No, I mean, I'm 2 cool 2 b sad. Um, whatev.

So I emailed him back prefacing that while I prefer not to have such conversations via electronic devices, I do feel emailing is a step above text messaging and I told him I agreed basically and that when he gets his shit together, call me.

Lesson here people, if you are going to dump someone, grow a set and do it in person. Or at the very very least, over the phone so an actual conversation can take place. Emailing, text messaging, post-it notes and/or Shannen Doherty are not effective tools for ending your relationship.