An apple a day...
So after some conversation with someone who apparently is familiar with Doc, I have determined that while he may not have been necessarily seeing anyone else while he and I were dating, he certainly was willing to had the other party been so interested. Or at the very least, he was never interested in me enough to not consider other options. So, the Doc is done. I have not spoken with him since all of this happened and he has only called me once, leaving a voicemail saying that he had been traveling and apologizing for being out of touch. I will not be returning his call. It is clear to me where he stands now. I haven't spoken to him in nearly a week...he has no clue that I am upset about the text message as I haven't discussed anything really with him since that exchange. He certainly does not know that I know some of his actions while we were together. And yet, I still have heard very little from him. I feel like he'll keep in touch enough to maybe keep me thinking he might be interested so I'll come by and "visit." Well he can keep on keeping on.
It's all a bit disappointing but I honestly think I am already over it. I have no issues with someone who isn't ready to date someone seriously. I suppose there are plenty of people out there who are only looking for something casual. I'm a far too needy and emotional person to casually date anyone. I'm not asking to move in or get married, but to me, if you are dating me and sleeping around or dating other people then clearly I am not someone to whom you are attracted enough that you would consider seeing where your interest in me will go rather than "play the field." To me, dating casually is "friends with benefits." That's fine is that is what both parties want. It just is not a scenario in which I will ever be happy. I want someone to be excited about the idea of being with me. I want someone who gets the butterflies in their stomach when they hear from me. I want someone to feel about me the way I feel about them. I can't be disappointed when it doesn't happen, what I can be disappointed in are people who will just not admit that is not what they are looking for. Doc did lie to me. I know that for sure. There was no need to lie either. He did not owe me anything. Why not just be honest about it all?
This just proves again that I should always trust that inner voice that tells me when something is amiss. I knew he was lying. I knew I could not trust him. For once I listened to the voice and was not willing to ignore what I knew to be true. So while I don't fault anyone for not being ready to date more than casually, I do blame folks who do not have the decency to be honest with themselves and the people they are involved with about their feelings.
So good riddance to him! If he calls back, I will invoke my new goodbye line courtesy of Velvet: "I want you out of my life." I think that line is perfect. Concise and cuts to the core of how I feel.
It's all a bit disappointing but I honestly think I am already over it. I have no issues with someone who isn't ready to date someone seriously. I suppose there are plenty of people out there who are only looking for something casual. I'm a far too needy and emotional person to casually date anyone. I'm not asking to move in or get married, but to me, if you are dating me and sleeping around or dating other people then clearly I am not someone to whom you are attracted enough that you would consider seeing where your interest in me will go rather than "play the field." To me, dating casually is "friends with benefits." That's fine is that is what both parties want. It just is not a scenario in which I will ever be happy. I want someone to be excited about the idea of being with me. I want someone who gets the butterflies in their stomach when they hear from me. I want someone to feel about me the way I feel about them. I can't be disappointed when it doesn't happen, what I can be disappointed in are people who will just not admit that is not what they are looking for. Doc did lie to me. I know that for sure. There was no need to lie either. He did not owe me anything. Why not just be honest about it all?
This just proves again that I should always trust that inner voice that tells me when something is amiss. I knew he was lying. I knew I could not trust him. For once I listened to the voice and was not willing to ignore what I knew to be true. So while I don't fault anyone for not being ready to date more than casually, I do blame folks who do not have the decency to be honest with themselves and the people they are involved with about their feelings.
So good riddance to him! If he calls back, I will invoke my new goodbye line courtesy of Velvet: "I want you out of my life." I think that line is perfect. Concise and cuts to the core of how I feel.
posted by Carrie Broadshoulders at Monday, August 28, 2006
1 Comments:
Good for you, CB, for drawing that line in the sand. You are correct: he may be the nicest guy on the block...and etc, but if he can't give you what you need, and then proceeds to lie about it, then you are better off saying, "I want you out of my life". (that IS a great line!!).
I don't know why people lie about what they want. I think, at least for some of these people, they honestly think that they are being kinder by just not saying the hard thing. You know, the whole, "don't ask, don't tell"..but it really doesn't work that way.
Anyroad, good luck! I sure hope you find that someone who also knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say so.
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