Kickballers' Wives

I suck at kickball. There's no way around it. I am always put in the outfield, which is probably the worst place for me. I have no concept of perspective and always either run too far up to try to catch a pop fly ball or I run too far back. Or, I just miss it altogether. I'm much better at kicking but still somehow manage to never actually score. My team sucks as well. So that makes me feel less awful than if I were the only one on my team that couldn't play.

We often discuss the idea of how sexist the rules are. The rules state that you have to have at least four girls playing in the field each inning. So basically they are saying that girls are not as good at kickball as boys and so to be fair, each team must at least have four girls instead of just having all their guys play the field. I will say after five games, I agree with this rule. Boys are better than girls. Well, boys except for me. I should really count as one of our four required girls because I cannot catch at all.

Other teams cheat a lot too. My team is well versed in the rules and since many of the folks on my team are lawyers, we have no qualms contesting when the other team does stuff they aren't allowed to do. We did this twice last night. The umpire was a dickhead so it didn't do us any good. Not that it mattered much because the other team really kicked our asses. We always seem to have one inning where we let them run away with it and then we cannot recover. It's only five innings to begin with so if you screw yourself in one of them, there's never enough time to recover.

Our team evidently has a few other strong players who for some reason never show up for games. I know there are at least three other guys who are good who never come. I've never even met them.

That all said, I absolutely love kickball. It gives me something fun to do in the middle of the week and well, there's drinking afterwards. And we may suck at kickball but my team absolutely dominates the flip cup table. Who can smoke and play flip cup at the same time? That's right...Carrie can. And it doesn't hurt that all the guys who play kickball are hot, hot, hot. Even if 99% of them are straight and the two other gays on the league I am not remotely attracted to. Nothing wrong with some eye candy though.

So if you've ever debated playing kickball, I suggest you do it. You don't have to be good at all and there's cheap beer and hot guys. You can't go wrong. I hear a lot of folks have met their current spouses on the kickball field. I'm still looking for mine, but I'm sure he's out there!