Friday Funny

This still cracks me up everytime I see it. Happy Friday!

American Idol Finale Liveblogging

Elliott Yamin and Mary J Blige.

NO fucking ma'am!!!

Had he sang that damn song last week he might have been one of the finalists tonight. I love him and he is still my favorite. Screw those other two.

UPDATE: Carrie Underwood rocks my world. I hate that evidently Don't Forget to Remember Me is going to be her next single. Honestly that and Jesus Take the Wheel are my two LEAST favorite songs on her CD. Yes, I own it. It's one of the best CDs I've ever owned. Yes, I love country music. And I love that she stayed true to her style and did a country CD.

UPDATE #2: Toni Braxton!? NO MA'AM! I can't hear a damn thing she is singing but she looks fierce.

UPDATE #3: I think I might have just wet myself laughing at the Clay Aiken performance. First of all, I don't know which one is uglier. And I couldn't tell you which one was gayer. Okay I could, Clay...he had more foundation on than Carrie Underwood did. And that hair? No ma'am. It was like a gay before and after watching those two on stage. It was cute the way they surprised th ugly Clay...he flamed out and nearly pissed himself when he saw Clay behind him. Which is probably because Clay's usually in the front. Okay enough gay Clay jokes.

UPDATE #4: Ace is still more than welcome to stick me at any time of his choosing.

UPDATE #5: I'm sorry, but Bucky singing Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head???? Uh, who chose that song for him? Gimme a break.

And why does Mandisa look like that giant red monster that always chased Bugs Bunny on Looney Toons?

Aw, Elliott should so be in this final. :( He's better than Taylor and Katharine. America you suck.

OH MY GOD. I JUST DIED. Kevin Covais just sang "What's New Pussycat." I am crying. He just sang "Pussycat, pussycat you're delicious...I'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussycat lips." LOL!!!! You know whatever producer chose that did that simply because seeing Kevin say pussy anything and kissing pussy whatever would make freaks like me die laughing.

Paris. Ugh. Go back under your bridge Paris and let me be!

Dionne Warwick? Uh, they are trying to let me have it with this finale.

UPDATE #6: AWWW! They brought back my little Garet, the little gay cowboy from Wyoming who sang to his turkey. He's so cute.

UPDATE #7: I guess the rumors were true. I cannot believe they managed to get Prince to perform. I mean Mary J, Prince, Dionne Warwick, LIVE, etc. all performed! Has this show become that popular that even these legitimate stars are willing to come out and perform??? Not so shocking that they all have new albums they are promoting but still. I'm not sure if they are sellouts or if it's actually kind of cool that these stars are willing to come on this show. Prince rocks and looks damn good for 48 years old.

AND YOUR WINNER IS: TAYLOR HICKS. And really, I could care less. It is very anticlimactic for me. I would have preferred Katharine to win out of those two...and of course I really wanted Elliott to win, but honestly it doesn't surprise me Taylor won. I predict he will go the way of Fantasia and Ruben. Enjoy him while you can, you'll forget about him soon enough.

Oprah Winfrey 360

I TiVo Oprah everyday. Not on purpose...my roommate set a season pass when we first moved in together and he never watches it. 75% of the time, I delete them without watching them unless there is a topic I want to see her discuss. The other day she had Anderson Cooper on to discuss his new book and his family tragedies, including the death of his father at 10 and his brother's suicide in the late 80s. Oprah also had on Gloria Vanderbilt, who in case you didn't know, is Anderson's mother.

Let me preface by saying that I lust after Anderson Cooper with an intense flame of passion that to this day is still unrequited. I think he's gorgeous and of course smart and I remember watching him on Channel One in junior high and thinking, I want to be him. Now I realize I just wanted to sleep with him.

In any case, he's typically a very very private person, who never talks about his private life. It is rumored this may be because he is gay and well that can really screw up your career if people confirm it so he tends to stay private. It's actually pretty well known in NYC and in the gay community that he is gay. Not that it matters. It's not at all what he discusses and has no bearing on his job. It just makes me a little giddy to think that I'll run into him one day and he will fall madly in love with me and I'll be Mrs. Anderson Cooper.

Well Gloria Vanderbilt was also on the show. I haven't seen a recent photo of her or an interview since the 80s. It's obvious she has had quite a bit of plastic surgery. Something is wrong with her face in that it doesnt' move at all and looks like it is pulled a bit too tight. Then I went to wikipedia.org and saw that the woman was born in 1924. That makes her 82 years old. I will say that for 82, the bitch looks fierce. Even with the apparent surgery and a tight ass face, she looks damn good for her age. I had no idea that she was that old. I would have put her at maybe 70 at best.

Oprah kills me though. She kept harping on how he was "American Royalty" and how he didn't have to work but chose to and he could have done whatever he wanted but did work not many rich kids would want to do. She kept harping on the fact he didn't have to work because he's a Vanderbilt. If Oprah had done her homework, she would know that most of the Vanderbilt heirs are broke. Gloria's father was rich but nothing like the heirs and heiresses people obsess over these days. I guess Oprah is nouveau riche so I guess she doesn't realize that people with money find it in poor taste to talk about it, at least if they have any class. In any case, I'm sure Anderson rakes in more dough than his mother ever had. He's not Oprah rich, but then again, who is?

Did anyone else catch the interview?

Democratic Scandal

From cnn.com:

Scandal-scarred Democrat refuses to quit key role

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi pleaded Wednesday with Rep. William Jefferson to resign from the House Ways and Means Committee days after FBI agents raided his Capitol Hill office. "With respect, I decline to do so," Jefferson responded. Jefferson is the subject of a criminal probe into allegations that he took bribes in return for using his office to facilitate business ventures in Africa.

Facilitate business ventures in Africa?

Wait, I think I knew what ventures they are referring to. I received an email once a while back from some guy in Africa. He asked me for money to help him get a cousin or something released. He seemed real nice referring to me as Mr. Carrie and telling me about the plight of his family. Sadly I was unable to assist him in his financial venture. I see Mr. Jefferson fell for that scam. Tsk. Tsk.

Kickballers' Wives

I suck at kickball. There's no way around it. I am always put in the outfield, which is probably the worst place for me. I have no concept of perspective and always either run too far up to try to catch a pop fly ball or I run too far back. Or, I just miss it altogether. I'm much better at kicking but still somehow manage to never actually score. My team sucks as well. So that makes me feel less awful than if I were the only one on my team that couldn't play.

We often discuss the idea of how sexist the rules are. The rules state that you have to have at least four girls playing in the field each inning. So basically they are saying that girls are not as good at kickball as boys and so to be fair, each team must at least have four girls instead of just having all their guys play the field. I will say after five games, I agree with this rule. Boys are better than girls. Well, boys except for me. I should really count as one of our four required girls because I cannot catch at all.

Other teams cheat a lot too. My team is well versed in the rules and since many of the folks on my team are lawyers, we have no qualms contesting when the other team does stuff they aren't allowed to do. We did this twice last night. The umpire was a dickhead so it didn't do us any good. Not that it mattered much because the other team really kicked our asses. We always seem to have one inning where we let them run away with it and then we cannot recover. It's only five innings to begin with so if you screw yourself in one of them, there's never enough time to recover.

Our team evidently has a few other strong players who for some reason never show up for games. I know there are at least three other guys who are good who never come. I've never even met them.

That all said, I absolutely love kickball. It gives me something fun to do in the middle of the week and well, there's drinking afterwards. And we may suck at kickball but my team absolutely dominates the flip cup table. Who can smoke and play flip cup at the same time? That's right...Carrie can. And it doesn't hurt that all the guys who play kickball are hot, hot, hot. Even if 99% of them are straight and the two other gays on the league I am not remotely attracted to. Nothing wrong with some eye candy though.

So if you've ever debated playing kickball, I suggest you do it. You don't have to be good at all and there's cheap beer and hot guys. You can't go wrong. I hear a lot of folks have met their current spouses on the kickball field. I'm still looking for mine, but I'm sure he's out there!

American Idolatry

mmmmm..mmmmm.mmmm.
blah blah blah.

Oh wait, I was just channeling Taylor Hicks.

mmm...mmm...mmms.

Okay so I know my friends will hate me because they all hate Katharine McPhee but honey, I'm burning up the phone lines to vote for her. Screw you all. I've got McPheever! If you don't like it, well f you!

Go Katharine. She's no Kelly Clarkson. She's no Carrie Underwood. But as far as I'm concerned she's got Fantasia and Ruben beat. Oh and that gay ass Clay Aiken.

Who's got McPheever!? I do. Fuck you. Her last song was lame...but you know those producers came up with that shizzle. I like them both. I don't love either of them. Kelly and Carrie will always be my favs for this show...but Kat WILL release an album I'd consider buying. Taylor will not. Sorry.

In any case, Elliott is my American Idol. I loved seeing him tonight. Love you Elliott!!!!!

Weekend Recap...a little late.

Well after five months, I felt it was time to show my face at my parents' house again so this weekend, I loaded up my car and ventured south. I love my family. I really do. But I absolutely hate going home to visit. I'm not sure why. I know a huge part of it is that I hate the drive. 95 going south from DC is probably the most stressful drive one can make on a weekend. When I go home, I refuse to leave anywhere near rush hour times and prefer to leave DC around 9pm. I also hate going home because there is absolutely NOTHING there to do. This used to be comforting to me. I could go home, relax, not feel guilty about avoiding any exercise, not feel guilty for laying on the couch and watching tv and shoveling fatty foods down my throat. Not feel guilty about going to bed at 10pm and sleeping in til Noon. Then I realized I do all of that here in DC and frankly, my couch is more comfortable. I also feel like my friends are going to be out doing fun things and I'm not around to enjoy them. What if the man of my dreams is wherever they are going to be and I miss him because I chose to go home?

Some of the highlights of going home include...um...well I see my family. Which is fun for a few hours. My brother and his family live there as well and I get to see my darling nieces. Which is fun for a few hours. But after a few hours, I'm bored. BORED.

After five months though, it was time to make the drive. I knew my mother was ready to write me out of the will so I had to show my face. I pack up my belongings and go outside to hop in my car. Oh but wait, there's something wrong with my car. Why is that mirror laying on my hood? Oh wait, I see now. Someone sideswiped my car. Oh and not just a light brush along the side. They rammed the back passenger side door, putting a huge dent in the car, then drove down the side of the car, putting a huge mark on the front door and capped it off by ripping off my side view mirror, which somehow landed on the hood. And do you think for one second they stopped? Left a note? Any witnesses to this? None. So I had to call the DC Metro PD, which shockingly arrived within 10 minutes of me calling. Two Asian police officers...yes, I said Asian...yes there are Asian cops in DC believe it or not...show up and they are kind enough to write up a report so I can get my car fixed. I have now decided that when the car is fixed, I am selling it. I can't deal with it anymore. It's a very nice car, but I don't drive it and am sick of paying a fortune to have it as well as the fortune I pay in cabs because I hate moving my car and losing a parking spot. That's just absurd. So if anyone is in the market for a car, let me know.

Okay so back to home...I spent Saturday afternoon at two of my nieces' softball games. I grew up playing baseball back home and so going back to the same fields for my nieces' games brought back a lot of memories. Not all good I assure you...I was a horrible baseball player. I basically never hit the ball, could barely catch and I was hit with the baseball more times than I actually hit the baseball with my bat. But alas, that is what you do when you're 10 years old. Plus the fields looked way smaller now that I'm an adult. It was very surreal. In any case, my sister-in-law coaches one of the teams and my brother is heavily involved and it is so freaky how into it they get. I was like, uh, it's a softball game and these girls are like 7 years old. Chill the f out. I guess when you have nothing else to do, you take shit like softball seriously. And the girls were highly irritating. They are not allowed to heckle the other team (they have all these silly rules that we never had playing baseball) and so they have these cheers they sing when their own team is up to bat (which to me is counterintuitive since you'd think you'd be distracting your own batter). But cheer they do. Loudly. And it's incredibly annoying. At one point, I held my hands to the sky and yelled for God to please never give me girls should I ever have children. Anything but girls. I also realized what a total fag I was watching these girls slide and thinking, oh that dirt will never wash out. And my smallest niece, covered in dirt from running around and sticky from the candy she had been eating decided that my shorts would make for a nice finger painting canvas. I nearly fell out of my chair to avoid her....get away from me you sticky little heathen! And the bugs...ugh...there are gnats everywhere and the people are just so icky. How could I possibly have grown up in this place???

Other than all that, it was a peaceful trip. Short and sweet. I do realize when I go to leave how much I do miss seeing my family. I know my mom gets upset when I return to DC and she feels like she has no involvement in my life at all. Which is true for the most part. Ever since college, I've just been very independent of my family and I don't open up and share and am not really as close to them. I regret it and am not sure why I am like that. I hate to think that one day I'll regret not being closer. I will say though it is strange when you realize that you are more comfortable and more relaxed in your own apartment than the house in which you grew up. It never used to be that way.

A Farewell to Will & Grace

Well tonight was the final episode of Will & Grace. After eight seasons, it is hard to believe that the show is over. I cannot believe it has been so long since the show first aired. It has become difficult to realize how groundbreaking the show was because frankly having gay characters on a tv show is not just normal but expected these days. Try as they may though, there will not likely be another show like Will & Grace.

I remember the first time I saw a commercial for Will & Grace before I ever knew what the show was about. It was a brief exchange between Will and Grace over lunch at an outside cafe. They were arguing over something. The commercial in no way hinted that Will was gay, so I just assumed it was another show about a young couple trying to "make it."

In any case, over the 8 seasons, the show became a little trite and predictable. The uniqueness was gone. Will and Jack are gay, Karen is a pill popping drunk...we get it! This last season was a little better and the finale was a fantastic way to end the show. I am a television junkie and have been my entire life...tv was my babysitter. So when a show I love ends, it bothers me. Even though the show is over, it is still a little sad to know it won't be there Thursday night to entertain me for half an hour.

It was a great show, a great finale and regardless of how it is perceived now, it was a groundbreaking show that allowed America to see, assuming they wanted, that gay people are perfectly normal and a part of this world whether they like it or not.

Adios Will & Grace (and Karen and Jack). See you every night in syndication on WB or one of those other channels. :)

Trivial Pursuits

It is amusing how when one bad thing happens, it seems to be followed by several more bad things, as if you really do live under a dark cloud or something. My kickball team lost our game this week, though it was a well fought effort on our part. We also failed to dominate at flip cup after the game in the bar. Losing kickball is one thing...we're used to that. But losing at flip cup is a rarity for my team. I think it was because two of our key players (flip cup, not kickball) were absent and so we had to carry our own with one or two not so hot flip cuppers. The scene is basically a giant fraternity party with rows of tables and droves of kickballers in their multicolored WAKA shirts yelling, cheering and chugging. I'm usually soaked in beer by the end of the night, sweaty and stumbling home drunk dialing people I have no business dialing.

Then last night Elliott was booted from American Idol. Elliott is a hometown boy and I've hoped he would win since the beginning. I did however have a feeling that he would go home this week. I'm not particularly thrilled about either of the finalists, but if forced to choose, I'd probably choose Katharine. I think she's far more marketable and would appeal a broader audience than Taylor. Plus Taylor's little ticks get old very quickly. I think Katharine would probably have a decent studio album and well she's an attractive girl. Slut her up a little and she'd sell albums. So I probably will not vote at all, but if I were it would be for McPhee. In any case, I nearly cried watching Elliott talk about his mom. She should definitely be proud and hopefully he will go far after this. Lord knows I'd want to get the hell out of Richmond faster than you could shake a stick.

I also like to go to trivia at a local bar on Wednesday nights and normally our team does really well. We were rocking it out last night until our last round where we missed three vital questions which knocked us out of contention for the prize of a free liquor. Needless to say I was devastated. Who did I step on this week that has karma kicking my ass? There is a guy who is usually at the bar as well who last week I thought was giving me strong signals that he might be interested. All of my friends thought so as well...they noticed it before I did. Well then last night he is being very weird. He barely spoke and it was clear, at least to me, that he was not at all interested. Weird right? Gay guys are so peculiar. Maybe he just wasn't interested to begin with. But I didn't even notice it anyway, but once my friends pointed it out, it did seem weird. And his friend kept saying to my friends that they needed to hook us up.

In any case, the dating scenarios I'm faced with now versus three years ago are starting to get under my skin a bit. I feel like I'm not nearly as "marketable" as I was 3 years before I met the ex boyfriend. I have not been on one date since we split up. 3 years ago, I was younger (obv), thinner, certainly had more hair and a better outlook than I do now. I am not old by any means, but gay guys have a really screwed up interpretation of young and old. Plus I am at a point where I know what I want and now it seems far less attainable than when I was younger. Did I miss my window of opportunity? Will I meet anyone who I could spend more than a night with? I'm incredibly shy and self conscious when I go out. I have a really hard time chatting up someone I think is cute. I'm awkward. I think maybe that's a turnoff too so my own reactions to insecurities are what give me a reason to be insecure in the first place. I've tried the online thing and beyond a quick lay, there's little quality there. What am I doing wrong? Sometimes I think I need to learn to be independent, be happy with who I am and if that's all I have, well then I'll have to like myself enough to deal. Sometimes that works. Other times I miss thinking that someone finds me remotely attractive.

DH

Oh my god - Bree just went ape shit on a fat girl who she thought ate some birthday cake. Nothing like picking on a fat girl to put me in a better mood.

Emotions

For some reason this evening, I've been particularly emotional. First off, if you haven't watched West Wing or Grey's Anatomy, you shouldn't read this because I'm going to talk about it. Second of all I have pretty much been crying since I got home. West Wing made me cry because it is honestly one of my favorite shows ever and I was devastated to watch the final episode. I hate knowing that now the only President we have to think about is the one we actually have and not the pretend one that is so much better. However, I should have known that there was no way it would make me cry like my new favorite show and probably the best show currently on tv - Grey's Anatomy.

I watched last night's first part of the season finale and got through it fine. No major breakdowns other than when the parents of that girl who was shot faced the reality of the situation. Those scenarios will tear me up very quickly. Then in tonight's part two, Meredith had to put the dog to sleep. Um, that was totally unfair of them to make me watch that. I thought I was going to fall of the couch crying. Having grown up with dogs, I can say I have been lucky that we were never faced with the need to put any of them to sleep. They all pretty much just died unexpectedly. I can't imagine having to do that. Well now I don't have to because Meredith had to put Doc to sleep and I lost it. So unfair. I mean, why'd they have to kill the damned dog? Wasn't Denny enough? Oh yeah, that's right, Izzy's sweetheart survives a heart transplant only to die at the end of the episode. When Izzy was in that hospital bed, hugging him and the mean doctor had to go pull her off, I was sobbing uncontrollably. I know it's a show and I totally grew a vagina tonight steady crying on the couch, but I couldn't help it.

I realized after a few minutes that I wasn't crying about the show anymore. I knew I was crying because I missed the ex boyfriend. I know a few weeks ago I posted about how I was over it, felt I had moved on. I guess I thought I had. I thought I hated him because of what he had done. I realize though that isn't the truth. I don't hate him. I love him. And maybe that's okay too. I realize how much I missed him today. I just sat here, thinking, I'm alone. I want him here with me. I haven't seen him in a long time but I wonder every day where he is and what he is doing. I hate my life without him in it. I hate that I'm now alone and starting over. But I don't hate him. I hate that he didn't love me enough to try to make it work. I hate that he betrayed me and didn't have the guts to confess to it when he had the chance. I could forgive him all of that though if he wanted to come back. But what hurts the most is that he doesn't. And never will. I still have pictures of us in my room, in frames, on my nightstand. I don't know what to do to make it better. To make it easier. To make me want to take those pictures down. Don't they make pills for this?

Okay now on to Desperate Housewives - hopefully that won't make me cry. Oh and does anyone else think that George's girlfriend on GA totally looks like a beast? She's huge. And not cute.

HRC: Vote No!

So the Federal Marriage Amendment is being voted on by the Senate in an attempt by Republicans to mask the fact they have run this country into the ground the last six years and since they have nothing else to run on, they run on hate.

www.hrc.org/voteno

Go there. Unfortunately myself and most of my friends live in the District and therefore have no Congressional representation so I have no one to write. However, I know a lot of you live in the Vag or Murrland. So please, take two seconds to send a note to your senators asking them to please vote no to amending our Constitution to keep gay people from getting married. Even if you feel they shouldn't get married (in which case you suck totally), a federal amendment is absurd. Also feel free to steal my idea and blog about this. It hasn't hit the news too much yet so not sure most people even know this is back on the agenda. The more exposure, the better.

Thanks. No really, thanks. I mean I can't even get laid these days so there is little chance I'll ever get married, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to.

Weekend Recap

Well I spent the great majority of this weekend intoxicated, including last night which has made for a rather unfortunate day at work. Overall the weekend was good. Friday was spent drinking at a bar with friends. Saturday was a birthday party that was fun and then a very unfortunate trip to Nation for the very final Madonnarama, as that dump will be torn down in a few months. In my seven years here in DC, I have graced that establishment very few times. I guess when I first moved to DC and Cobalt was not open, I went there more often because other than Badlands, there really was nowhere else to go dance. Since Cobalt opened, I haven't been back there except to go to Madonnarama, which anyone will tell you is the only respectable night to be seen there.

Well, this particular trip was hellish. We arrived at approximately 11:30pm, which for Nation, is relatively early since the main dance floor does not open until midnight. There was a line waiting to get in at least two blocks long. After half an hour of waiting in line with about 30 people from the party we had attended, a good friend loses his lunch, I was yelled at for trying to piss behind a dumpster and we were yelled at by several passing vehicles where I believe "faggot" was the only audible word. This did not bode well for the rest of the evening. So we finally get into Nation and I immediately go to the bathroom where I had to wait in line 20 minutes to piss. There were three open toilets. THREE. For about 1,000 people. Then as I returned people were filing into the main dance floor and we decided to get drinks. Half an hour later, still in line for drinks. Finally we determined that this was not going to work and four of us left. We attempted to go to WET (the local gay dick bar) and were shocked to find that it was called Genesis and dick was not on the menu.

We got into a cab and headed to old reliable Cobalt. Cobalt was a ghost town. Why? Because every mary in this city was at Nation waiting in line for drinks or to piss. We made the best of it and I had a nice refreshing cocktail. Then I saw the whore that was screwing my ex before we broke up. I then realized that this night was going nowhere and ended my evening at McDonalds shoveling fries in my mouth. I passed out with contacts still in.

Sunday I had every intention of staying in. I felt bad for ditching my friend Saturday for his birthday (not that he recalled that I had left as he was bombed) and so I met him and a few others out at JRs for a few nice drinks. Two bars later, it was midnight and I was hammered and we were totally hitting on some police officers who were in town for Police Week.

I have to figure out whether blowing $250 going out, staying either drunk or hungover all weekend is a productive use of my time. I'm guessing no, but honestly I can't come up with anything better to do.

Also, I was invited to Fire Island for July 4th. Hm. I'm nervous about Fire Island. I hate gay beaches. I rarely go to Rehoboth. I'd imagine Fire Island is like Rehoboth...but worse. In any case, if I decide to go, I will be on the Nicole Richie diet until then.

What Hurts the Most

Okay, I'm in music mode today. IF I were still hung up on my ex boyfriend, this song might make me tear up a bit at my desk. It sums up quite well how I feel, I mean felt, about the last seven months or so. Good thing for me I'm not still hung up on him, but I'm just saying:

What Hurts the Most - Rascal Flatts



Yeah, the video is a bit dramatic and that girl goes nuts in the beginning.

I'm the geek in the pink...

Because I'm wearing pink today:


I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forget what you already know
I could be the one to turn you out
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge me by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

Like the geek in the pink
Like the geek in the pink, pink, pink
The geek in the pink, yeah

Madonna v. Grey Gardens

Lost: Well if that ain't the truth.

I just finished watching Lost from this week and this show is working my frazzled nerves. This whole Dharma Initiative thing is weird. I need some answers!

Did anyone else notice when watching that there was a commercial during a break for the Hanso Foundation? Which is the name of the Foundation that funds the Dharma Initiative on the show? And if you go to the website they advertise (www.sublymonal.com), you have to basically click several times on each of the tv screens which will then reveal a tv screen that says Code: Heir Apparent. Then it takes you to the Hanso Foundation website, which honestly looks like a real website. If you click on their newsletter signup link, it will prompt you for a username. Type a username, whatever you want and all of a sudden the website changes and it appears that someone named Persephone is chatting with you. She asks for a password. Type "Heir Apparent" and she tells you to call the call center from tv ad.

After that I have no clue what to do. Is anyone else out there lame enough to actually have bothered doing all this? The fact that they take this show that far by building a website and hiding secret messages in it is WEIRD. Of course I'm hooked and need to know everything. However, if someone would explain the polar bears from the very beginning of the show, I might be able to hold out for all to be revealed. But I must know why there are polar bears on the island. They need to explain this or I'm going to become very impatient.

AI Thoughts

It has been several weeks since I have mentioned American Idol and my thoughts on the developments so far. Frankly its because I really have lost interest. I play kickball on tuesday nights so though I DVR American Idol, I don't get a chance to watch it until usually Thursday. By then everyone knows who was kicked off, me included usually. I still watch the singing just to see how they did.

Well I am just now watching Tuesday's program and so far the only question I have is in regards to a comment that Ryan Seacrest made to Chris after his first song. He said something about the whole world knowing that Chris wears "hybrids"...otherwise known as boxer briefs? Did I miss something? I played it back a few times to make sure I heard him correctly and either I'm completely deaf or that's what he said? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Also, I'm glad Chris is gone. He didn't belong in this competition. He's good, but I've seen rocks with more interesting personalities. I'm getting tired of Taylor. I hope Katharine and Elliott are the top two and I hope Elliott wins. He's a Virginia boy, so I have to vote for him. That and he rocks. I also think Katharine could release a good pop CD that I'd inevitably buy once Hot 99.5 played it every fifteen minutes for a few weeks.

Okay so someone explain the Ryan comment to me please. I think he is just obsessed with boys in boxer briefs...but then again, who isn't?

UPDATE: Okay so Chris sang his second song --- boring. But AGAIN, Ryan looks at him and says, "We've got a HOT race to the finish line." Now just seeing that written, it might not seem weird...but the way Ryan said it, staring directly and deeply into Chris' eyes, enunciating and accenting the word HOT...a passion burning deep into Chris' soul. Ryan is totally trying to get in his pants. It's so obvious. And so weird.

Big Brother

From cnn.com today:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- The government is secretly collecting records of ordinary Americans' phone calls in an effort to build a database of every call made within the country, it was reported Thursday.

AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth telephone companies began turning over records of tens of millions of their customers' phone calls to the National Security Agency program shortly after the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, said USA Today, citing anonymous sources it said had direct knowledge of the arrangement.

---------

Um yeah, does anyone else think this is wrong? I'm okay with doing things in the interest of national security, but if you read my previous post titled Phone Sex, you may understand why I think this is disturbing.

Phone Sex

I got home last night from kickball late and drunk and drunk dialed someone I met a few weeks ago on vacation who does not live in DC and coerced him into phone sex. Well actually I think he kind of started it by asking me what I was wearing in bed. Is that trashy? Not that I care, I'm nothing if not trashy.

As for kickball, we lost. But it was a great game and we fought hard until the end. And though we lost, there is ZERO doubt that my team are the flippy cup champions of our league. We kicked ass last night. Of course I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and realized that in fact, the only ass that was kicked, was my own by about 4 pitchers of beer.

Oh, this guy you ask? Someone I met on vacation. The jury is still out on how I feel about the prospect of dating him. There are several items to consider. He lives several hundred miles away, hence the phone sex and not real sex. He works for the same company I do (I say don't shit where you eat). He's not really my type. I'm not sure outside the vacation setting, I'd feel the same way. In any case, we email constantly and he calls (or I do when drunk and in need of phone sex). For now that's enough really. It's nice to have someone think about you.

Oops...she did it again!

I cannot believe how fertile white trash can be. I mean I grew up in an area of the country filled to the brim with white trash so I should know this, but the fact still amazes me. The trashier you are, the more fertile you seem to be. I cannot believe she let that thug tap her junk again. What does he have, like five kids now or something? There should be laws against this kind of behavior.

I hate Grey's Anatomy

I just watched last night's Grey's Anatomy. I balled my freaking eyes out. This is like watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition but much worse.

I'm such a girl.

Cream Cheese Disaster

I just dropped a bagel in my lap that had cream cheese on it. Um, yeah, looks like I did something naughty on myself. Embarrassing.

Blush

I have this song stuck in my head (and yes, it is one of the free downloads from iTunes, which I'm telling you rock my world):

Blush (Only You)*
by Plumb

When you look at me i start to blush
and all that i can say is you and us
oh baby im so afraid to be in love
with you, with you...

i wanna be in love with only you
i wanna watch the sky turn grey and blue
i wanna know the kiss thats always new
i wanna be in love with only you
just you

the stars are falling dark
we'll light the way
we'll hit the ground and fall
into the shade
i'll light the night with fire
and run away with you...with you...

i wanna be in love with only you
i wanna watch the sky turn grey and blue
i wanna know the kiss thats always new
i wanna be in love with only you


i wanna be in love with you
i wanna be in love (i wanna be in love)
i wanna be in love with you
i wanna be in love (i wanna be in love)

i wanna be in love with you...

i wanna be in love with only you
i wanna watch the sky turn grey and blue
i wanna know the kiss thats always new
i wanna be in love with only you

just you
i wanna be
just you yeah


*I have no clue if these lyrics are right, but that's what it sounds like she is singing. In any case, the song has been in my head all day.

Catfights & Caviar

As most gay men I know and as a child of the 80s, I grew up watching one of the best television shows in TV history! This week, an eagerly anticipated event aired on CBS. Dynasty Reunion: Catfights and Caviar.



Yes people. For one spectacular night, we were able to see Krystle and Alexis share the screen once again. Unfortunately they did not reenact their infamous lily pond scene, as had been rumored. Nor did Alexis tell Krystle that she could not wait for the day she would leave that mansion with the same two plastic suitcases she showed up with. While the entire cast, except for Joan Collins, looks wrecked, it was so great to see them all again. Though I wouldn't have known Linda Evans was the same woman with that face. Those lips are HEINOUS. Why Heather Oxenburg was there though, I have no clue. Her character was totally annoying. But I guess she's an attention whore and volunteered to do it. They probably didn't even have to pay her. Pamela Sue Martin, the original Fallon, is NOT doing so hot. Nor is Al Corley, the original Steven, though I thought he was fug 25 years ago. The second Steven was way hotter. He appeared briefly in the reunion and though he's a bit rough around the edges after 25 years, I'd still totally let him stick me.

In summary, it was the most important television event this year and I hope everyone saw it. If not, I have it Tivoed along with about 3 weeks of saved up reruns of Dynasty. If you didn't know, it airs on Soap Network at 2pm every weekday. Thank you season pass. I've seen most of the episodes again thanks to Soap Network and still love this show.

If you missed it, you're a loser.

American Idol Results

Elliott in the bottom two???? Um, he was in the top two last week. WTF America??? Get your shit straight. Now I'm actually going to have to start voting or something to keep Elliott on this show.

At least Paris went home. I was over her that day she showed up with those pom pom pony tails. No thanks.

I'm actually okay with the final four. Katharine and Elliott are my favorites, but Taylor has certainly grown on me. Chris I can take or leave. He's got talent but wouldn't make an album I'd listen to. In fact, I try to base my preferences on whether I think I'd listen to them off the show. I think the only one I would listen to is Katharine because they'd certainly whore her up and make her sing pop music. And well, I can't get enough of whored up female pop stars. It wouldn't be long before she's coked up, cussing out Lindsay Lohan in some club and showing up on Dlisted the next day stumbling down the street with Nicole Richie in tow.

I still have to support Elliott though...I mean he is from the Vag after all. :)

The New Voice of Metro

Okay so not to start my reblogging with a totally unrelated posting to anything having gone on the last 12 days or so, I had to comment on the new voice of metro. I completely forgot that they were planning to change the "voice" and I have to say, i'm not thrilled with the new one. While it isn't the actual voice that bugs me, the new ding ding sound bugs me and I really hate what this bitch says. "Doors closing, stand back" really quickly. At least that is what I think she says. I mean she says it so fast. FIrst of all bitch, if you're going to boss me around, you're going to have to do better than that. I really wanted the new voice to say, "Look bitch, there's another train coming so move the fuck out of the way so these folks can go to work." I think I'd totally listen to someone like that.

What is up with Metro anyway. A new "voice", those stupid ads that play between the stops and now they are talking about retail locations that serve food/drink. Um, you can't take the shit on the train so why bother. Just what I need, another person trying to make me eat. No thanks!

Don't hate...please.

I know I haven't blogged. I've been under the weather since I got back and had a kickball game which basically made me feel even crappier (or was it the beer pong at the bar after????)

In lieu of blogging right now because I'm trying to finish up at work so I can go home and pass out, here is a picture. Try not to hate. It's not becoming of you.

Delayed Reaction

Sorry for having not posted in oh 10 days or so, but I have been on vacation off the continent and have not had internet access. I am busy now catching up with work from being off all week and will of course have to dedicate some time to catch up on all of my favorite bloggers as well. Vacation update to come! Stay tuned!